Hello! I just joined this forum after looking for a support page...looks like I've found one! Anyway...I guess I'll start from the beginning-ish. I've always known that I was sexually attracted to girls from about the age of 10 but I've never associated that with queerness. I grew up in a very loving open family who accepts anyone and everyone regardless of gender/orientation so I've never denied myself based off of sexuality, although I've never really been around many people of the LGBTQ community. A few people here and there...whenever they would be brought up by my parents it was "they're gay" or "they're bi" but I was never told exactly what that meant and how it could be connected to my own life. From about 14 on I would take online quiz after quiz....articles...all sorts of things "am I bisexual? how to know if you're bisexual!" and I fit the category...so I just assumed myself bisexual for a few years. Never open about it, because I never thought it necessary to tell everyone about my sexuality (not my friends or my family) which I've just recently realized that it wasn't healthy for me. Within the past year and a half I've been surrounding myself with loving supportive people, most of which are very connected to the LGBTQ community...and with reading books and being informed greatly and being asked my sexuality I never really felt comfortable saying I was bisexual, and I definitely knew I wasn't straight. So my google searches changed from bisexual to "queer" and it felt right, and feels like it fits. I cut all of my hair off, and felt more "me" than I ever have. Anyone who is close to me knows that I'm queer, but when it comes to the LGBTQ community I don't feel like I belong. I'm fully accepted, don't get me wrong, but I think hiding for so long (from myself, I think) has convinced me in some strange way that I'm too straight to be queer, when I know in my heart and in my mind that i'm definitely not. It's very confusing for me cause I was so sure who I was for a minute there. I know that sexuality can change...but now it's gotten to the point i'm trying to figure me out so much, i've been looking so deeply into myself that i'm wondering if my queerness is so much bigger than i thought. It just makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about my own queerness with other people, for some reason. Because "coming out" has never been "coming out" for me, it's just been what it is. Just keeping it to myself. Please excuse the long essay.....just trying to work some stuff out....if anyone has any advice or experiences they would like to share, please please do! ---------- Post added 15th Sep 2014 at 05:30 PM ---------- just realized that i could have posted this to the sexual and romantic orientation thread....sorry
