Okay so I keep planning my actions for everything like this happens I do this or if they act this way I'll do this and I can't stop!! How do I stop or at least control it? Also I keep over thinking EVERYTHING! A simple question or statement I over think on it and make it more complicated then it should be, how can I just accept things and not constantly worry about something or over analyze and whatnot? Also is it bad to hide my feelings behind a mask? Like even though I'm sad or upset I'm hiding behind a smiling cheerful mask, I've been doing this my whole life and I hate it at times! I'm always cheerful not complaining of anything but sometimes I wish I could just drop the mask and be sad or something. No one has seen past the mask so I dot let it drop or anything I can't let it go. I'm to afraid that if I do I'll be rejected by the friends I have now. Is it bad that I'm hiding? No I'm not depressed for anyone who asks that, I just have a lot of stuff going on in my life and I just wanna cry or be able to vent my feelings to someone but I'm afraid that tey won't want to hear me talk. I don't mid being happy and helping people but it just feels like a chore and sometimes I have to force myself to be happy or cheerful and just keep smiling. They won't know if I just keep smiling. Is that bad? I'm so confused and arrrg my mind won't stop! :bang:
*hugs and hands a cup of Chamomile tea* I wish that I could say for certain, "This is why you overthink, and this is how you stop it," but human psychology is seldom that simple. Is there a sense of fear or doom associated with the over-thinking, that something unpleasant will happen if it is not well planned? Some planning and thinking is good, of course, but you have to have some trust that Future You, the You that will exist in that point in the future, will know what to do without having every second dictated by Present You (I say this, but I, too, tend to over-think and over-analyze). Trust is the key word here, but I know that this is difficult for many people, myself included. It helps to remind yourself of times when something unexpected has happened that you have not mentally planned for but that you handled well nevertheless. Also, have you heard of something known as "grounding techniques"? They're psychological tricks that force you to get "in the moment" and take your mind off of other stuff. These can be as simple as looking at the wall in front of you and thinking "This is a wall. This wall is white. This wall has a slightly dimply surface. This wall is clean..." or as complicated as imaging that you're someplace that you consider serene, like the beach or a forest, and go through each of the five senses--what do I see? What do I hear? What do I smell? What do I feel (tactile/touch wise)? What do I taste? These may help to slow the raciness of your thoughts a bit. It helps, too, to have something to focus your attention on; your mind seems to crave stimulation. Do you have a creative hobby or talent that you could pursue (or is that where the overthinking comes into play? In that case, allow me to offer advice that is often given in creative writing classes: "Just get it on the page first. You can edit poorly written drafts--you can't edit a blank page")? Is there a language that you've always wanted to learn but that you've never made time for? Also, working out and exercising has the double benefit of keeping your mind occupied while relieving stress. On another note, have you heard of ASMR? Many individuals find some sounds (i.e. rustling papers, whispering, tapping, ect.) to be calming and to have a mind-clearing effect; it's quite the rage on YouTube, if you want to check it out (I recommend Heather Feather, but they're all quite good). Many people are guilty of the "Happy Mask" act; to show sadness or discomfort is to show vulnerability and to risk burdening others, so we tend to veer away from showing sadness or discomfort as a means of protection. This is perfectly common. There's a theory in psychology, though, that allowing others to help you actually increases their fondness of you--they feel good about having done something good, so that good fellows ebbs into the person for which the good was done. Perhaps you can talk to your friends about your sadness/situation by asking them to listen as a favor, i.e. "Yo, I need to sort some stuff out that's going on in my head, so can I talk to you for a minute? I'd really appreciate it." I know that it's much, much, much easier said than done to "take off the Happy Mask," but, if it helps any, remember that humans are drawn to the stories of other humans--that's why books and television and social networking are so popular. If you can afford it and if you feel comfortable with it, it may help to talk with a therapist. You do not have to have a disorder of any sort; many psychologist work with fairly healthy, well-adjusted individuals who need some help sorting things out. I hope that things improve for you and that you are able to get some peace of mind.
Thank you...thank you so much. I actually ended up talking to a friend. Of mine for 4 years and he suggested about the same of what u said. Told me to try to do something like how I've always wanted to write a story but don't feel like I have enough imagination or something, said to just start writing! Or talk to someone since my thoughts tend to be horribly unorganized and of multiple multiple things at random all at once. Some things I do focus well on but when I'm not doing those things my thoughts are all a jumbled mess of different things happening at once. One topic is how to come out to parents then another is what will I do or stressing about random things and it all happens at once and I tend to bottle everything up inside since idiot have anyone to talk to that understands. Thanks for all the suggestions they have helped a ton! Sorry for all the rambling it's how I organize myself a bit to just ramble off things that are going on in my was ^_^ hope you have a pleasant week!
I'm glad that I was able to help and that you were able to talk to a friend. Coming out to the parents can make anyone's brain knotty. I'm afraid that I can't be nearly as helpful there, as my own "coming out" pretty much consisted of sobbing on a couch the day I decided to break up with my boyfriend and my father's brain pressing "auto-delete." :dry: I hope that when and if you do come out that it goes well and that there is much acceptance and unconditional love.
I don't think that over thinking or over planning is a bad thing necessarily, the problems come when you're unable to change and adapt your plans.
