Could you forgive?

Cheating or 'Unconsented polygamy' (sounds more complex) is something i cannot stand and would feel very betrayed. But its your partner not mine. ^^

 

No I could not. It's different from person to person, but I find physical cheating to be worse and I'd rather my partner fall in love with someone else than have casual sex with them. I don't mind sharing a partner in a strict romantic way, but sex is something I hold a bit more sacred than love in my relationship, especially since sexual cheating can pass STD's to me without me knowing or complicate things with a pregnancy. I don't share my partner sexually.

 

Nope. I wouldn't forgive it, not would I be accepting of it. I think a relationship should be monogamous so any sexual act with another person, who you're not in a relationship with is just for me, a no. I'm sorry I know I was confusing In the message :/

 

I agree with Fallingdown7. If my partner cheats, the relationship is over. I simply cannot live with the fact that I'm betrayed.. A relationship is about trust, and cheating literally ruins that all in my opinion.

 

Sorry to read you have to go through this. Feeling betrayed is one of the worst human emotions and is very painful.

Would I be able to forgive this? It probably depends on what exactly happened. When my partner realizes he made a BIG mistake, comes clean to me and will never do it again, I might consider forgiving him. Haven’t we all done things, we later honestly and wholeheartedly regret?

On the other hand, when he considers cheating to be a normal part of our relationship and that I should learn to live with it, it will most definitely be a show stopper.

One word of advice. Trust your instinct. After you talked with him, did you still have your doubts? Probably, you did, because you posted on EC. If so, end the relationship before you get hurt even more.

 

I could forgive, if I cared deeply for this person. But I am pretty sure, I could never forget it, and eventually relationship would become cold and end.

 

It depends for me.

If they do it when we said we were in a monogamist relationship and they hide it from me: we would be over.

If they do it when we said we were in a monogamist relationship and don't hide it from me: I could see myself forgive them (if they are willing to do a blood test...)

 

I would outright leave.

at that one moment in time, they would have destroyed all trust I had ever had in them. I could never trust them again.
I would always be thinking and wondering, sneaking around their computer or the like, and spend my night wondering if he's been with someone else today, turning my back on them in bed. The intimacy would go, I'd close up completely to them, and it just wouldn't survive. It wouldn't be any kind of relationship I could bear.

For me, there'd be no choice. But, that's just me.

 

It's only a case of forgiveness if you've made an agreement to be monogamous.
Could I be in a relationship with someone who's polygamous?
Maybe, I don't know, I've never been in that situation.
I do think it would be a lot easier if I were attracted to them and the third person as well, although I also have no idea if I could be polyamorous/gamous.
Because, again, the situation has never come up.

I do not see how you could judge someone though, if you've not made your own position clear.

tldr: Cheating bad
Unclear on status of relationship also bad

 

I could forgive it, sure. But I would be forgiving them from a distance, because the relationship would be over. Just because I can forgive someone, doesn't mean I ever want to be in an intimate relationship with them again.

For me, it comes down to this: how much do I value myself? Do I love and cherish myself? Or am I willing to have someone wipe their dirty feet on me like a doormat, then come back for more? No thanks. I value myself too much.

 

I recently dealt with this. It brought up a lot of feelings... what did I not provide? Why am I not good enough? We ended the relationship and I was upset, confused, couldn't eat...

But the fact of the matter is if your partner cheated on you, that's on them, and not you. You didn't do anything wrong. There are tons of excuses why people cheat - the person doesn't understand what that means, maybe they only care about themself, maybe they were drunk and made a horrible mistake, but the fact is at the end of the day, they cheated. Some people just cheat and that's all there is to it. You need to figure out if you can really, REALLY forgive and move on. I couldn't, the trust was destroyed.

I thought about it quite a bit for weeks - until I finally sent them one last message - that I forgive them. I would never go back with them, but I forgive them. And that allowed me to move on.

 

I might stay with them and let it be an open relationship if they asked (although I wouldn't do anything on my end) but I highly doubt I'd forgive someone for going behind my back.

 

I could forgive cheating, at least in the simple fact of the sexual act with someone else despite the fact that we agreed not to do that--if it really was just physical the thought of it actually doesn't bother me that much. I could not however forgive any kind of sustained deception around it, for me that's the bridge too far.

 

I would say that it would almost certainly be the end of things. You can never tell what the circumstances of certain situations are, but in the vast majority of cases it would be over.

The notion that you weren't justified in assuming that is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with choosing to be in a non-monogamous relationship, but that is something that should be disclosed on behalf of the person who wants to see other people. Partners shouldn't have to assume that their significant other will continue to take on other partners unless they send out daily reminders. This is essentially the equivalent of justifying not disclosing STD positives merely because the sexual partner hadn't specified that such a thing would matter to them.

 

No, I could not forgive.. I might learn to forget in time, but never forgive something as betraying as being cheated on.. It is just something I am very strong on and trusting someone is not something I just do for everyone, so when I trust someone and that person breaks that trust, I just can't forgive that.

 

No. You cheat on me, we're done. No second chances.

 

I could never forgive non-monogamy. Even if it was "only" NSA (no strings attached) sex, I still see it as unfaithfulness, and that would definitely lead to a break-up. I still resent all the guys who cheated on me with other women, and I don't think I could ever forgive them for it. As a result, I hate all cheating husbands/wives too, because I know how much it hurts when your partner seeks pleasure/affection elsewhere...