I'm gay, so of course I'm not attracted to girls, but it goes a little further than that for me. In fact, when I am around girls in anything but a professional or strictly friendly setting I feel uncomfortable and almost sick to my stomach. Any mention of girls in a sexual way by anyone makes me even more uncomfortable, and I usually end up leaving the room. Furthermore, when I start becoming fairly good friends with a straight guy, if he begins to express interest in women I start to feel odd around him. I am fine with having girls as friends of course, but only as long as we don't talk about anything really intensely relationship-like. Some weird stuff happened between me and this girl when I was very young, and I think that might have something to do with it, but I really don't know. Am I heterophobic? Is that even a thing, and how do I make myself feel more uncomfortable around straight relationships. I'm starting to distance myself from one of my best friends because he has begun going on dates and stuff with girls. I don't want to lose him completely, but now whenever I'm around him I think about him dating women and I feel extremely out of place, and uncomfortable. Does anyone have advice on how to make myself less uncomfortable around straight relationships?
I don't think it's just a discomfort of women, as the thought of any heterosexual behavior around me has a similar affect.
Hmm, I think a lot of us go through similar phases. Even now, I'm not exactly drawn towards typical heterosexual romance/sexual films, shows, novels. It's so easy for some people to say, "love is love," but there are so many cliques, and it's becoming harder for me to relate to those narratives, especially if they're normative. There was even a time when I couldn't even hear of or see people in my life with their significant others, since it made me feel resentful, alone, and defective. There's also the fact that not every gay person is comfortable with members of the opposite sex, contrary to popular belief. There are plenty of mans men and feminine women, and not feeling attraction for the opposite sex, combined with ignorance and little exposure probably plays into these dynamics. My friends are just about 50/50, but even then, it's no guarantee that I'm going to get along with all men or women. It's more of an individual thing, though. Now, I've seen plenty of gay men who said they were flat-out disgusted by women, their bodies, or acts involved, with a few more than eager to share. This is sexism, plain and simple, and don't buy their sexuality as an excuse. You can't bash women and use your lack of attraction for them as a reason, because one doesn't cause the other, and I've plenty of acquaintances as proof. For me, heterophobic would mean you want nothing to do with straight people, period.
Well I guess heterophobic isn't the right word then, but the problem remains. I think I am going through what you described as feeling resentful and defective, do you have any advice on how to stop feeling that way around my straight friends?
