Alright so I have gone to my universities LGBT centre on more than one occasion now, and met with a decent few of the people there. I didn't really have any expectations going in but I now have some observations and consequentially questions. Firstly, Each and every time I have went there seems to be far more women there than men, to the point where sometimes I am the only guy there. Is this normal for these clubs, or do most guys typically not go as often/at all, and hang out at different venues instead? Secondly, Most of the people there seem to be rather radical. Now I understand that this is university and most people are very idealistic and tend to get very passionate about issues, but even still. Some people hold beliefs that (at least I think) are downright silly, like believing the Otherkin shenanigans of people who think they are raccoon's or such. I am just wondering if this is an outlier case, or whether less radical individuals tend not to hang around these clubs? Thirdly, Most of the people there seem to be rather stereotypical, whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, I am not sure. But the only guys I have seen there are the more flamboyant and effeminate type (which for reference, I have no problem with, it can even be kind of attractive). As well, the women mostly wear beanie hats, leather jackets, motorcycle boots and other stereotypical "butch" dress. I am just wondering if the stereotypes are in fact mostly true or whether it is just a product of coincidence they seem that way to me at the moment? Finally, even if I am not the biggest fan of its sillier/radical positions, is it still worth it to stay around so as to network with some people in the LGBT community and perhaps eventually through them meet other people who I share more in common with? Well, those are my questions, hopefully this is the right forum for this. Any and all advice would be much appreciated.
As a general answer to all three questions - it's possible the group you're attending is representative of the larger culture at your university, or it's possible it's not. Most groups, LGBT groups included, will start to take on their own characteristics and naturally attract certain types more than others. For example, maybe gay males on campus simply hang out somewhere else other than this particular group. As far as stereotypes, again, could just be the group and like attracting like. People who don't fit those images may just be elsewhere - or, for that matter, some of them might not fit the image as much as you'd think. One of those more feminine gay men might be really into sports. Who knows? As far as whether to stay, that's really up to you. If you feel like you're meeting people occasionally who are good friends, maybe stick it out. If you feel like there are other places where you'd rather meet people, or the club isn't doing it for you anymore, you don't have to stay. Do what works best for you!
If you stick it out, one day someone more like you might turn up to check things out. It's still early days, as far as classes just starting, so they might still be finding their way around campus. And you never know, those gay girls might know some nice gay guys who aren't coming to the club but if you hang around and they get to know you, you could "network" some new friends into your life. Maybe even as time goes on you could suggest an activity more up your alley which draws in more like minded fellas.
Haha, I am not one to judge someones athletic ability by the way they walk or talk, frankly I don't care much for sports either. The only sports I ever did were solo sports like track and martial arts, et cetera. Team stuff and being sociable has never really been my strong suit but I am trying to force myself to get out more often and talk with people. I have continued to try and go to the meetings though, however I still don't feel like I fit in too well. A funny note in that regard is like, I feel way uncomfortable when the people start talking about attractive guys et cetera, it is just so alien and weird to me (despite being gay). Like it makes me equally as uncomfortable as being around my straight friends talking about girls, in fact I would even say I find it more uncomfortable to be around the gay guys talking about other guys, than my straight friends talking about girls. Maybe it is just some latent internalized homophobia, or maybe because all this stuff is so new to me, I do not know. But I am not about to give up yet so I will continue trying to be as amiable as possible and get to know the people there as much as possible.
