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How do I find a male bisexual roommate or friend in college?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Celatus, Sep 19, 2014.

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  1. Celatus

    Celatus
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    I want to find a roommate or a friend who will understand me in college. I'm bisexual, so I don't want a stereotypical gay roommate or effeminate guy living with me. How would I find other bisexual guys for roommates and general friends in college?
     
    #1 Celatus, Sep 19, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
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    Why do you think a "stereotypical gay" guy would not understand you? Sounds like some internalized homophobia to me.
     
    #2 resu, Sep 19, 2014
  3. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Nah I'm not really homophobic it's just that I don't want to be judged that way. Most gay people are actually pretty cool, my art teacher is a gay guy but he doesn't advertise it or anything. The media just likes to stereotype gay guys and make them seem different than they actually are.
     
    #3 Celatus, Sep 20, 2014
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2014
  4. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Are there usually GSA kind of things at college too?
     
    #4 Celatus, Sep 20, 2014
  5. Pret Allez

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    What is it that you hate about effiminate men so much? How is it that you're convinced that "other bisexual" guys would understand you and not be effiminate?
     
    #5 Pret Allez, Sep 20, 2014
  6. AKTodd

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    As I understand it, a lot of universities these days give you the option of indicating your orientation and the type(s) of orientation you would be comfortable with in terms of a roommate. I've no idea if they include bisexual as one of the orientation options - it may vary from school to school. You could probably contact student services or admissions or the like to find out how they handle this and what it looks like.

    As to whether or not you become friends with them - that will depend more on whether or not you have compatible interests and personalities than whether or not you have the same orientation. The majority of roommate pairings involve two or more straight people - and they may turn out to utterly hate each other before they're done. Or be best friends for life.

    As far as making friends, you can certainly try the local GSA/LGBT club/community center/whatever. Note however, that at least some of the people there may very well be effeminate and neither they nor their associates seem likely to be thrilled with you appearing to prejudge and condemn them based on a single aspect of themselves.

    For that matter, if you don't want people judging you, perhaps in turn you should seek to avoid judging others.

    Just some thoughts,

    Todd
     
    #6 AKTodd, Sep 20, 2014
  7. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Sorry man I'm just not into effeminate guys. I would be cool with other gay guys though.
     
    #7 Celatus, Sep 20, 2014
  8. resu

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    You don't have to be into them to associate or be friends with them. They aren't going to force their ways on you.

    People are not just feminine or masculine. There is a huge spectrum, and even some straight guys who are very sure in their masculinity are the ones who don't feel much shame in appearing sometimes effeminate.
     
    #8 resu, Sep 20, 2014
  9. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Ugh it's not that I wouldn't be friends with one, it's that I'm not sure I would want to live with one. Trust me, I have a variety of interesting friends I get along with all sorts of people. I was never trying to be judgemental, sorry.

    ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2014 at 08:24 PM ----------

    I'm not trying to offend people here, I'm just trying to figure out what I should do.
     
    #9 Celatus, Sep 20, 2014
  10. SemiCharmedLife

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    How important is it to have a roommate who's LGBT? How would it be to have a roommate who's straight but accepting?
     
    #10 SemiCharmedLife, Sep 20, 2014
  11. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Idk I guess I'm just worried they'd be creeped out by me or something. Also, it would be kinda fun having someone that would be willing to mess around a bit XD
     
    #11 Celatus, Sep 20, 2014
  12. SemiCharmedLife

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    Yeah it'd be nice to mess around with your roommate, but there's a whole campus full of people to mess around with. All you (or anyone) can hope for in a freshman roommate is someone who's respectful and doesn't make you want to kill them in their sleep after a week of living with them. As long as he's not homophobic, you're fine. Trust me, I live with a straight housemate and I have no complaints.
     
    #12 SemiCharmedLife, Sep 20, 2014
  13. ERA

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    I've had gay, straight, and bisexual roommates in college and later in life. Male and female. I honestly couldn't say that any type is easier or harder to get along with our live with.
    My advice would be to not worry about it. If things are bad, you can always request a roommate change. I wound up doing that my freshman year about a month in.
     
    #13 ERA, Sep 22, 2014
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