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Nervous about going to support group

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Asterac22, Sep 27, 2014.

  1. Asterac22

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    So.. my brother decided to bring me home a bunch of LGBT stuff from his college for some reason (didn't go into detail why he decided to) and within some of this stuff was a information leaflet about a LGBT like support forum/group thing that happens every Saturday.
    I have been trying to work up the courage to go and make more friends as at the moment all my friends are straight and whilst that shouldn't be an issue there are sometime moments where i want a gay friend but i am very nervous about what happens as i have never been to anything such as this.
    Does any one have any advice or can tell me what to expect so i can make that push and go next week?? Thank you! :slight_smile:
     
  2. AsheTheHuman

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    I've only gone to mine once, but I'll say this. They are the most supportive and awesome group of people I've ever met in real life. A lot of my meeting was just talking about what went well since the last meet and what didn't. Don't be surprised to see trans, queer, or non-gender conforming people there. And even the if they haven't transitioned or are in the process of, be sure to use their correct pronouns. If you're not sure, play it safe and use they, them, etc. You should really go, it's really amazing and totally worth any initial awkwardness.
     
  3. Celatus

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    Hmmm Im wondering the same thing. I hope the colllege I will go to has a nice support group.
     
  4. swimgood

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    i went to a LGBT support group meetup for ages 17-28 or something like that in my city

    So a bit about my experience
    I knew like... no lesbians - began to feel pretty down that I wasn't meeting anyone.

    Searched for a support group/social thing. Found the one i mentioned above.

    I went there, it was super awkward cause the facilitator cant facilitate at all. So I began facilitating, talked to everyone but only really clicked (got along) with one person.

    Later exchanged we exchanged phone numbers and I invited her to this lesbian bar/club event that ive always wanted to go but didn't have a buddy

    Forced myself once again to go to somewhere ive never been with someone i only just met for a week... then i clicked (this time in a different way) with someone else at that event and we have been exchanging messages and sorta kinda seeing each other :slight_smile:

    TL;DR
    moral of the story: hardest part is taking the step out - easier once you get the ball rolling

    Just a few things to keep in mind before you go/while youre there
    1. its okay to be nervous! you're fucking brave to go their yourself!
    2. now that you've got yourself out there and meeting people - be sociable! Many of us prefer to retreat to the corner of the room and stay there
    3. don't expect to meet the love of your life there - set small goals/expectations. e.g. today I will try to remember 3 peoples names...
     
  5. Carlgustav

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    GO FOR IT DWAYNE! {In explanation, this exhortation was often given to Dwayne Ingalls Glasscock (alter-ego of DJ Charles Laquidara on WBCN-FM, Boston, sadly gone). It came to be common usage in my circle of friends.}

    But the sentiment remains. I say go for it!
    (By the way ShyZach93, your picture bears an uncanny resmblance to Ike Broflovski)
     
  6. Asterac22

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    Thanks for the advice next time is Saturday so will be going then :slight_smile: (@Carlgustav yeah i think the guy is called Scott lol :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: South Park is amazing! :grin:)
     
  7. flatlander48

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    Very Good! I hope it is a great experience for you.

    There is an old saying: "If you want a friend, then you have to be a friend.". Listening and being supportive of others will likely show that you can be trusted and that you are worthy of their support. I won't say that what you get is exactly mirrored by what you give, but it is unrealistic to get support if you are not moved to give any...
     
  8. Asterac22

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    Ok so i went the other week and it was really good...but everyone there was 15 or 16 and i am 21...i was going to go again this week but i am unsure as i would have liked to make more friends around my age, think it is a good idea to go again?
     
  9. jay777

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    You could ask there if they know places where people meet who are more your age group... someone might know...

    you might look at universities or colleges, if there are lgbt events there... they might accept non students, too... and you might have a look at meetup...
     
  10. SpaceSuit

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    Just because they were mostly younger in that one meeting doesn't mean there aren't older members. Also, colleges usually have LGBT support groups with members around your age or older so I would try going again and see. You can always ask the group moderator if there is another group with older participants in the area.
     
  11. flatlander48

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    I'd check with the organizers/leaders. It could be that the younger group is their target. If that is the case, maybe think about finding another group. But, if it was an off couple of meetings or they are actively seeking a range of ages, perhaps it might be worthwhile to stay. So, find who is running the gathering and talk to them privately as it wouldn't be good to talk about this openly if you decide to stay.