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Can I Get Over this Feeling

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by VermillionTide, Sep 27, 2014.

  1. I'm going to be serious in this post, because if I lie it won't make sense and you won't realize what I'm asking. I feel like I have this issue where I just literally hate everyone, and that internal hatred kind of shows so people automatically hate me and don't want to speak with me. I don't know how, I feel like I just kind of radiate that emotion. Even people who I meet who are trans or gay never connect, and we just never talk to each other after the initial conversation. I can have conversations with people be nice to them, but after it's over, I just feel stupid for having spoken in the first place, and instantly regret it.

    I always feel like we're all wasting out time in life, and it depresses the hell out of me to think I'm almost 17 and have wasted so much time within a public school, and having no accomplishments. Then I think of possible accomplishments, and nothing seems worthwhile for me to feel accomplished or successful. I don't care if I became a famous musician or artist, I just feel like it's been done before. I don't know, I just feel such intense depression all the time, and it feels like my chest is actually being stabbed. I used to just feel sad, but now it's becoming anger to the point where I can barely contain myself without bursting out crying during the day or punching something.

    I hate explaining this shit to people because I know it's my problem and frankly, I know people are just going to tell me conventional answers like "go talk to someone," but I just feel like this is something so internalized and personal to myself it's not alterable, and I'm going to feel like this forever, which is disturbing to me. I think I used to set standards for myself so high that now everything is extremely disappointing and degrading.
     
  2. Celatus

    Full Member

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    Dude you're going through some tough depression. What you are experiencing is probably more along the lines of frustration. I've come to learn after going through depression is that you dont need to accomplish a lot of things to be happy. Honestly just relaxing and doing things you enjoy is a lot more fulfilling. Message me if you want to talk. :slight_smile: