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My ex has invited me for a meal

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by King, Sep 28, 2014.

  1. King

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    I broke up with my BF on Friday, because he kept reading my texts, and he hated it when I went out to see my friends and was controlling.

    I collected my things from his house today and he said he said we can start from a fresh and I can live with my parents and have my own space while still being in a relationship with him. I suggested this months ago, but he said he didn't want to leave me on my own at all. Now it seems like its too late to start making remedies.

    I hated the relationship but loved him a lot, and now he's invited me to dinner on Wednesday. I told him no, but I don't know if I should change my mind.

    I have been crying all day, but something's telling me to keep away even if I miss him.

    ---------- Post added 28th Sep 2014 at 06:25 PM ----------

    It appears that I have posted this in the wrong areas. I should have put it in the 'Family, Friends & Relationships' category.
     
  2. resu

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    It's too early, IMO. You two need some alone time, him to get his act together, you to feel what it's like without his controlling personality. I think you should take control and say that when you feel better, you will ask him to go for dinner, not the other way around.
     
  3. Ouzo

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    You should leave it for a week or so, and see how you feel.
     
  4. lb41974

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    I have to agree you need some time apart. He needs to understand that you have a life and that includes friends. Maybe a few days apart will do him good . I wish you all the best of luck !!
     
  5. robotman

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    I don't want to sound funny or anything but I would love a controlling boyfriend, I haven't been in a relationship yet but the type of personality I have definitely seems to crave attention and control lol. Anyways, back to you :lol:. If it made you feel uncomfortable then I would give it some more time but to be honest he might have just been very paranoid (checking your phone and telling you not to go out with friends), maybe he thinks that you are too good for him in one way or another. If he says he has changed I would say give him one more chance, then if it still continues end it. That is my opinion though.
     
  6. Celatus

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    Aw you should go to dinner and talk it out. Everybody has bad days and living together is hard.
     
  7. MrK21

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    Stay away from that fucking asshole! This is no different from a heterosexual relationship. He is trying to isolate you and abuse you. I know this sounds hypocritical coming from this joker, but I know an asshole when I see one. STAY AWAY!
     
  8. Monraffe

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    Watch Dan Gilbert's Ted Talk, The surprising science of happiness. There is this interesting findind in his research that shows how we have this tendency to synthesize happiness when we find ourselves in a situation that we would otherwise avoid if we could. So, when we truly love someone and really want to be with them, we will overlook characteristics in them that we would not find tolerable in anyone else. The old, "love is blind" idea. The talk might give you some insight into your current situation. Do you love him enough to overlook this behavior? If not, what does that say about your chances of findind happiness with someone? I'm not saying you should stay or go, only you can decide that, but you are not likely to find anyone who is perfectly well behaved, so just make sure this decision to leave is based on intolerable behavior and not on the reaction of the intolerant.
     
  9. Blossom85

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    I think you should just have some time alone and some space.. I think he is too late, my cousin keeps getting back with this guy that none of us like at all.. He even got her to move 2 hours away to where he lived and isolated her from the rest of the family, they have two kids together and he is just very controlling as well.. She has managed to leave him a few times, but he always begs for her forgiveness, showers her with gifts and then when she comes around again and he has her in his clutches again.. It starts all over..

    So please.. Don't go back, you will be starting a pattern that will keep going on and on and on.. So break the pattern before it starts.. You might love him, but you deserve better.. Don't go to dinner and it will be a big life lesson for you and hopefully for him.. It might show him he needs to change to hold a relationship.. But if you go back.. He will start thinking he can stay as he is and that he really does have control over you as you will always go back to him.
     
  10. resu

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    Also, think about why you posted this thread in the first place. If you have to ask, it doesn't sound like you're comfortable with him.
     
  11. King

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    After consideration, I turned down his offer but some of my belongings are still in his house and I need to collect them, how awkward,