Not sure about having kids.. Does anyone feel this way at all?

I have a two and a half year old niece and I really love her so much and I love spending time with her and being with her, but at the end of the day.. I love when she goes home to her mum and dad..

I am 29 and will be 30 in June next year and I don't have any desire to be a mother anytime soon.. I don't have that feeling that my biological clock is ticking at all kind of thing where you feel you have to have a baby for your life to be complete. I get really happy when I get to be with her and even just love when she snuggles on the lounge with me watching Minnie DVDs but it doesn't give me that feeling of .. "Ohh I just want one myself".

I don't know if it's just cause I am single and not found someone to share my life with or if it's just something I don't want.. Whenever people ask if I want kids, I always say yeah one day.. But I am really not sure if I do or not. I know it doesn't make me a bad person if I don't want one.. But I just don't know if this feeling will change when I find someone and I honestly don't want to mis-lead someone and say I want kids and then later on when we get serious, say I have change my mind on the subject.. Has anyone else ever felt this way? It is probably the only thing in my life at the moment I am unsure of at the moment and it bugs me that I might not want to have a beautiful little child like my niece. It's not even about work or a career, it's just I don't feel that desire like most women would feel. Is there something wrong with me for not wanting a baby, but just happy with being the Aunt?:icon_sad:

 

Thanks, it's always good to know there are others who feel the same way. For me it isn't worrying that I will fuck up, just that I don't have that strong desire to have a child. I enjoy being an Aunt, and I might feel differently one day.. But right.. I just don't want to be a mother I think.

 

That is very true, I just feel really content being an Aunty at the moment, maybe one day it will change if I get involved with someone, but I just feel really content right now and you are right.. Not everyone has to be a mother, I just don't want regrets either.

 

I agree, it is a very personal choice and it doesn't make me a bad person if I decide not to have them. I will make sure I am honest with any potential partners on this matter as it can certainly change everything and I don't want to lie or mis-lead someone either.

Thanks to you all for your replies, it's always good to know I'm not alone.. I'll just leave it for now, and not think on it too much.. People aren't pressuring me for a baby anyway cause I am single, so I'll leave it at unsure and might be able to get some more definite answers one day.

 

Thanks for all the responses, I appreciate it..

@The storm inside... I feel very much like you do as well.

I guess another thing I would be worried about would be passing along my disability to my child as well, it is a gene related thing, so I obviously have the gene and could pass it onto my baby.. And my baby could have what I have or just could get the gene and then perhaps pass it along to their child.. So I guess in am really concerned about that. We had to go through a lot of testing when my sister became pregnant the first time to make sure she didn't have the gene, luckily she doesn't, but it is an issue for me.. I would love and support my child as much as my parents have done for me.. But I do worry about subjecting My own child to things that I have had to go through in my life, so in a way.. Not wanting children is my way of protecting a helpless litte baby from dealing with what I have had to..

I also have trouble with simple things like doing my hair which is why I keep it short enough to just brush and not worry about.. So I worry if I can't fully do things for myself.. How can I justify bringing a baby into the world where he or she is relying on me to take care of him or her.

Wow, it feels good to get that all out finally.. It's a hard thing to admit and hard thing to hold onto.. Being scared and feeling worried and stressed that something is going to go right.. I guess I don't want people to judge me on that cause I honestly would love my child exactly how they are, but growing up for me was never easy.. There was lots of hospital stays and doctors visits.. Even now.. I have regular doctor visits and treatments as I need them.. And as much love, care and support I got from my parents, sister and family and as much as I know I will love my child and support him or her as much, it's hard to think my baby might have to go through all the medical issues I had to go through.. All the hospital stays, all the visits to doctors, the frustration when you can't do something for yourself, asking for help for me has always been a big deal, cause I like to think I am independent.. It's heartbreaking to think my child might have to go through that.. It really is.. And I think that could be a big reason why don't want to have a baby of my own..

 

Thanks, I think that is what I am looking for, someone to,tell me that it doesn't make me any less caring or loving towards a child of my own whom might have a disability, so from that I really appreciate your words.. It means a lot.

I hadn't really thought of those options to be honest, so it is something I might have to think about a little more... Adopting a child whom is already in this world and needs love and attention could be something that I would consider possibly in the future and that is something that could be discussed with a future female partner as well wether she would be willing to carry a child or if we would wanna adopt.. It is all things to think of but realizing there is options out there makes me feel hopeful as well.

 

Awe thanks Hun, I really appreciate your kind words, it means a lot to me. (*hug*)

---------- Post added 30th Sep 2014 at 11:16 PM ----------

Thanks Hun, it is good to know I'm not alone here in feeling this way.. It makes me feel a little better after reading all these wonderful replies, so that you to everyone who has taken the time to read and reply, you have really reassured me and made me feel a bit better. (*hug*)(&&&)