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getting hit on by older men

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by josh9623, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. josh9623

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    so, I decided to go to a club the other night (tbh it was about as close to being a bathhouse as you can get without actually being one) and the only people that seemed to show interest in me were the daddy types, most of which were at least twice my age.

    has anyone else been in a similar situation where the only people that seem to be attracted to you are much older than you?
     
  2. Skov

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    It's fairly common. Be careful, but don't be rude when turning them down. They are more likely to be regulars. You don't want to get a bad reputation
     
  3. josh9623

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    Yeah there was one guy who was making some unwanted advances, and i was just like "no, sorry but no"

    I was trying to be polite, and hopefully that's how it came across.
    I am trying to decide if I want to try and go again or maybe go with one of the social groups that go there, although the group would be on a mixed orientation night.
     
  4. Chip

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    I'm sorry you had that experience. Sadly, it is a very common one. Not just in clubs, but in most bathhouses and in many online and other settings as well.

    The club and bar scene in particular tends to be very shallow. Most of the people there on any given night are looking for hookups. If you aren't putting off the vibe that that's what you're after, people may be sensing that and simply going after those who are more interested in hookups. There are, of course, exceptions here or there, but it's generally not the place you go when you're looking for healthy relationships.

    The guys twice your age hitting on you problem is something that isn't in any way unique to you; virtually every person under 25 I've ever talked to has been incessantly hit on by guys twice their age (or even older) in various settings. It's really sad, but it's one of the unfortunate realities of much of gay culture. And some will get the message when you say no, while others are just simply annoyingly persistent.

    The sad thing is, the persistence that some of the older guys have can pay off because there are some people who either have really low self esteem or otherwise find it really difficult to say no... so they just keep trying, even though it pretty much never works out.
     
  5. wardrobeescaper

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    Oddly i've had more teenagers hit on me than anything else?!