Just how?

Think of three things you like about yourself. Even if they're just little things. Write them down. As the days go on, keep adding things to the list as they come to you. And if you ever start feeling down on yourself, look at the list. Focus more on the positive and less on the negative. If you stick with it you'll get to a place where you love and accept yourself

 

DamiansKat, I was where you are just this past weekend, and just this morning I realized that I love myself now. xD *I* did it by accepting what I really am, and what I really want. I'm a girl inside, and I need to be a girl.

I'd like to help you too. Keep talking to us, come find me if you want to talk, evers. I like CrazyAwkwards' idea. Anyway, I don't know yet why you hate yourself, talk to us some more.

 

Whenever you indulge in self judgement, you are being non-accepting, so you really need to break any damaging thought patterns and that will take time and effort - but it can be done. When you put yourself down, self criticise or focus too much on your weaknesses, you are indulging in non-acceptance. Wanting to change is very important, so really focus on that comment, "I'm finally sick of hating myself" (maybe write it down and keep it on display in your room/car etc.).

Understand that nobody is born with feelings of self hatred and non-acceptance. Our natural state is to love, respect and accept ourselves - very genuinely, it is - but we work against those natural feelings by soaking up negativity from our lived experience. If you don't like or value yourself, for some reason, that's not normal. So try to think about what you don't like/value and understand the reasons why - write down your thoughts and re-visit them. Then think about what needs to change, but don't get carried away with thoughts of perfection - aim for better, rather than perfect. I also agree with CrazyAwkward about writing a seperate list of positives to compare against the negatives.

You can begin to make a change by watching your language. The word "hate" is small, but very powerful. Notice how it feels when you use that word, particularly against yourself. There are other powerful negatives, like "pathetic". If you don't feel good, that's fine (happens to us all at times) but don't make things worse by describing your feelings with such vitriol.

You will certainly have to work on letting go of some harsh feelings. It's not going to happen overnight as self acceptance is a journey. Take it at your own pace though and stay connected by talking things through. Talking can help you move through the stages towards acceptance.

(*hug*)

 

Hey, I got lots of that from my family and "friends" as well. I never fit in, never did anything the "right" way.

 

I find that it helps to look at other people and see how imperfect they are, how much of a jerk someone can be and the terrible things they do to each other. Then you look at yourself and think "I'm not such a bad person after all".