I'm being pressured to take this girl to homecoming. I like this girl as a friend, and I'm warming up to the idea of taking her to homecoming a friend. But if I take her, everyone will be reassured that Im straight. I am not. I took a girl to a formal dance in middleschool. It was awful. I didn't want to touch her and the slow dancing was so uncomfortable. So that's probably going to happen again if I take this girl. My parents keep asking about a homecoming date, and I respond "I just don't want one." They respond, "Why." "I just don't want one." What do I do? I like this girl (as a friend, I'm still gay) and I am willing to take her to homecoming if the stars are in position. But I don't want people to think im straight. To end on a nice-ish note: A gay guy asked me to homecoming. I obviously couldn't say yes, because I'm "straight." And even if I was out of the closet, I still wouldn't say yes (I really dont like or trust this guy). But still, it was nice that I got asked by a guy.
Just do what is in your heart.. Would you rather go stag and be alone or have a date to go with even if it's a girl? I am guessing you are still in high school? What grade are you in? Is this your final year of school? Cause if it's your final year.. You might not even seen these kids again after you graduate and go off to college.. I think do what you feel is right for you.. Don't feel pressured to take this girl to homecoming if it's not what makes you comfortable. You need to do what is right for you.. Is this a popular girl or someone who wouldn't otherwise get a date? Cause on the other hand, it might be nice to take her if she isn't someone who is popular and who might not get asked out otherwise.. But again.. It's for you to decide what is right for you and what you are comfortable with.
So, you want everything basically ? Apparently if another dude asked you you're not that straight . I "get" high school and appearances and group status . If she's a friend I'm pretty sure she could handle being told youd go as friends only . And srsly? Can't slow dance . Dude , theres a difference between slow dancing and grinding and again , if you're clear with her what's the issue. Whoa I just read the last post man......wow , really....
Again, it is up to you.. However if it was me.. I would take her in that case.. And you can explain that it's only going as friends and nothing more so she knows what to expect. If she is someone who wouldn't get a date otherwise, I would show her there is some nice guys around and take her, it is only for one night really.. But it's your decision.. Your call.. You do what you feel is best for you.. I am not judging you on whatever you decide, but if it was myself.. I would be ecstatic to know I had someone to go with even if it was as friends.. I didn't have a date to my formals, but there were a couple of the guys who were sweet enough to ask me to dance whilst we were there and that my whole evening so much better just to know they did think of me enough to ask if I wanted to dance.
Kriskluwe, The guy had no idea what my sexuality was and just took a shot; I don't act stereotypically gay. That was the first time I've ever been hit on by a guy, too. I'm so terribly sorry because I have problems that you do not have; slow dancing is a big deal for me (pretty much any PDA too). Some people are more comfortable with just going with it and putting themselves out there, I am not. This is supposed to be a help forum. You aren't helping.
The best way to stop people thinking that you are straight is to tell them that you are not. Otherwise, that's generally the assumed default position. If you are not ready to come out yet, that's cool, just state that "you haven't got anyone you can think of at the moment that you would like to ask" and leave it at that. Don't be pushed into being out if you aren't ready, but also I wouldn't expect to be assumed anything other than straight unless you put THEM straight on the subject Hope you find a way through this and enjoy your homecoming!
Oh man, this reminds me of my first dance with a girl just a year ago! I was mostly uncomfortable and nervous because people were staring at me as we danced and I hated the fact that people might have judged me. I got social anxiety so it wasn't a win-win situation for me. It was hell from start to end but least I was actually there for her as we didn't hang out much then [we don't anymore now, drifted apart]. But broham, you must do what you think is right. Probably take your friend girl with you to the dance and just it suck it up. Besides, you may have other special dances in the future with a guy.
Eh. Whatever you do, make it clear with the girl that your sole interest is friendship. Don't lead her on. For the rest... we can't choose for you, boo.
Oh man, I totally relate. My first couple slow-dances were with girls who were friends, that was fun. But the first time I slow-danced with a guy was when I started realizing that maybe boys weren't my thing (although I'd already realized that I liked girls). It was so awkward! I really hated the feeling of his hands on my waist, and maybe it was just that particular guy, but I've never wanted to try it again. My advice is to just make it clear that you're going as friends. People do that! If anyone asks if you're together just laugh and say that you came as friends, there's no shame in that. If you can handle it though, give her the courtesy of one dance, nothing too slow/romantic and you don't need to get touchy. You are taking her as your date, the least you can do is have fun and make sure she's enjoying herself too. Maybe find a group of friends to go with so it's less awkward? I always had more fun at school dances when I went with a group of people.
I'm a senior in H.S and haven't went to a dance because of fear. If I were to take a girl the student body would think I'm straight like them, but if I asked a guy then I out myself to the entire school. However, if a guy asked me I'd probably say yes. Thinking about asking a guy to prom this year though as I have nothing to lose.
Hey dude I just went to a homecoming with a girl last night and it didn't suck as bad as I thought it would. There are a couple of musts that have to be in place though in order to have fun. Step One: Go as Friends(it's less awkward but still leaves some wiggle room one you being "straight" Step Two: Go With friends(preferable a bunch of guy friends and some girls) Step Three: Go to an after party(it doesn't have to involve alcohol(but it also can but be careful if it does) if your going with friends it will be even more than the dance) If you go as friends slow dancing isn't really an issue. I mean it's one dance and if you really don't want to then don't plenty of people don't. Going with friends and just letting go is amazing. I had so much fun like I was terrified to go but it was worth it. Sure you will get those invasive question from your parents that you will probably have to lie about but you'll still have fun. You have to rember going to homecoming is so much more than just the dance and I understand you issue with PDA but you could probably get out of it scotch free. Have fun you probably need a stress reliever and this is definitely an option for you.
