important exam in 3 weeks time and have low mood and energy

Well for the past few months things have been going pretty well.I quit smoking (yaaay!!!),went off my meds,started seeing a biokineticist (turns out that my organs are fine and that the physical pains I have been getting are posture related),made quite a bit of progress with my playing (despite the period of time where I wanted nothing to do with music) and might even end up helping out at the student center at varsity (not exactly sure how though).

All good news and really felt that things were starting to fall into place.At home things were obviously not always easy,but I managed to cope pretty well.

And then for the past week or so,things started to get to me.Not sure how,or why.Starting to feel super tired (might have a bit of flu),but its more than just feeling tired.It feels like I am juggling my emotions and thoughts trying to desperately avoid my mood slipping and now I am not sure how good my juggling skills are.I end up feeling tearful several times a day (often with no good reason),sleeping patterns are changing a bit,amongst other things.So it seems like I'm probably getting depressed.Things at home are not easy,but I seemed to cope with it before,so not sure how big a role that plays.


Thing is I have an important exam in 3 weeks time (performer's licentiate).Not sure if I should go onto any medication so soon before an exam.On the other hand,do not want to end up feeling worse either. I suppose I could talk to a therapist and ask for advice if I continue to feel this way,although I have not completely made up my mind if he is the right therapist for me or not.I suppose I could try though.

The problem with asking the GP for meds,is that the medical aid pretty much wont cover the cost unless its a script from a Psychiatrist.I have a bit of a history with that,and the thought of seeing one is scary.

Guess I should wait awhile,this might just be a bit of a blue period.But if its more than that,then I do not really know what to do to be honest.

Any advice ?

 

That sounds good.Would rather be on the safe side of things.

Hope so as well.Whatever happens,I should probably get through it okay (I mean its not exactly a new thing).

 

(Doing my honors in Performance through Trinity College,so not at an actual varsity and can not access the services there since I am not a student-long story).
I am just not 100 percent sure if the guy I am seeing is suitable yet,but I have not given him much of a chance so will see what happens.If I do not feel like he is right for me, I can ask him or the GP to refer me to someone else.

I think I should talk to someone regardless of whether my mood lifts or not anyway.Will see how things progress

 

Think I might be starting to feel a bit better.Not feeling like I should yet,but think its getting better.

Maybe I just need a change at this point in my life.

 

Just tired of living.

 

I have to be

 

Sorry for worrying you.I talked to my mom and am considering going onto an antidepressant as long as the dosage is not too high.Will talk to someone more in the know later this week.

Its a bit tricky with me since I normally do not handle meds all that well (I have gone that route before) and have complicating factors (its tricky to know how much is situational and chemical at times).Medication can be of help in certain situations and to some people of course,but I feel a bit hesitant to take that too far (hence the low dosage idea if things do not improve over the next few days).Will probably end up having to pay for it,since I do not intend to see a Psychiatrist.Took the piano for a practise run (playing in just under 3 weeks) so happy that is sorted at least.Might just need a bit of a change of scene,so hope to stay away from home for awhile after this exam and hopefully find my own place soon.

Will see how things proceed.For the time being I will just have to find a way to cope.

 

I know about St Johns Wort(I tried it at some stage but not sure how much it helped,will keep it in consideration).If I were to go the herbal route,I think Sceletium would probably work better for me(forgot about that,so thank you for reminding me).

Will ask the doctor though and take things from there.My vitamin B levels are usually a bit below average and could not really get much exercising done due to my flu (which seems to be lifting today) so that could also play a role.I think the main thing is that I get out of the house a bit though,go to my sister or spend time in nature so will see if I can arrange something for the weekend.

 

Will see how the next few days go and get an opinion about whether I can risk going onto something now.I really do not know if I want to or not and to be honest the thought of going back onto meds scares me.

I do not feel like possibly going through what I did in the past again.I suppose I might sound stubborn or it might appear that I do not want to be helped or something but its not like I have not tried.I tried going onto meds for years but it does not help all that much if people can not even figure out what they are treating me for half the time.If things were somehow improving along the way on that route then I would have continued,but instead things just became more vague and at times just plain scary.I am not saying that I am the most normal person around,its pretty clear I am not but sometimes its better to just let things be.

So I really do not know what to do,and maybe I am doing the wrong thing by not investigating this further on purpose ,I really do not know.Its still my decision to make though.

I do not want to end up talking about my issues too much,but will give some kind of indication how things progress.The main thing is I want and need this exam to go well,which is why I brought up this topic in the first place.For now,I'm just going to get some rest

 

Starting to feel much better so not too worried anymore.

 

I don't think I should be on this site for the time being.I first have to sort my life out and the way things are going it will have to be something drastic (that's just the way things work in my family,nothing new).I do not want to subject everyone to me feeling like a yo yo and after the last time I was here,I doubt people would want much to do with me anyway.

I doubt I will return (although I suppose you never know).

I'm just tired of having to manipulate my feelings due to certain things happening so I can simply cope and to be honest I do not want anyone to know about everything that is going on( it wont do much good anyway).

Hope everyone on here find what they are looking for in their lives,whatever that may be .I do not even know who I am anymore so I think its best if I just figure out things and if I do somehow decide to come back then it will hopefully be with good news.