I am absolutely fed up with the world. Everything is killing me. I cant sleep much or even think because of money. Its only going to get worse. And Ive looked for jobs that won't kill me, but there is none. I wanted and thought that this video business would work at least a little. But no, nothing ever works out for me no matter how hard I work on it. But the jobs that Ive had before made me hate my life so much. It got to where from 6-3 I would only think of the different ways to kill myself, and psychologically, I cant take that. Every second thinking how quickly I could end this miserable life. I feel so trapped in this life that I cant escape from. This is by far the most Ive ever hated my stupid life. There is no way to fix this.
First of all (*hug*) Second, as someone who is all to familiar with this I urge you to see a doctor. I finally have just got my sleep back under control after 2 of sleepless nights. I have finally started to turn my life around thanks to the help I have received from my doctors. Depression sucks. It really does. But not doing anything about it isnt going to help. Talk to a doctor, a friend, a family member, anyone. You are not alone. People are willing to help. I know it sounds cliche but trust me its helped me a lot. I would have been dead by now if I had not gotten help. Yes I still have my moments. Like tonight Im feeling rather down and out and a little bit anxious but it can get better. You can do this. Like my sig says below " Im pulling for ya. We're all in this together."
Thanks, but thats the biggest problem besides money. Ive NEVER had a friend in real life. I never have the opportunity. Online friends are great, and y'all are my family, but I want someone I can physically talk to. But I dont.
Hey artist92, We hear you loud and clear; your title says it best, it is depression, which has the nasty habit of inducing you to think and use the words "never", "none", "nothing". I know you're in a very dark place right now, we can do no more than be here for you and to let you know that you are not alone. Have you tried a hotline in your area? People do care, very much, please reach out for help.
(*hug*) artist, try a hotline like greatwhale said. They might know of a group or similar where you could talk face-to-face with others that have issues.
Thanks y'all. Ive called before. But the closest one is over an hour away. Sometimes I hate living in the middle of nowhere :/
I also think a crisis hotline would be a good idea. There are online ones where you can chat with someone and then they can give you local resources so you can meet with an actual person or group of people who will understand what you are going through. Also, most areas have depression support groups as well as support groups for people feeling suicidal. Personally, I've found that journals and art help a lot with expressing pent up negative emotions. I understand how you feel. I am also looking for employment that wont drive me to suicidal thoughts (every job I've ever had has led to the point where I'm in so much pain that I think about suicide). I know how it feels and how hard it is. *hugs*. Just know that there is support both online and offline. Finding it might be scary, but it will help. I also suggest seeing a therapist. You can usually find local organizations who will see you for free if you are unemployed (that's what I'm currently doing). I hope that helps. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. <3. ---------- Post added 6th Oct 2014 at 12:21 PM ---------- That can definitely make it harder. Have you thought about using skype to join an online support group? It's no the same as in person, but it's more personal that chat rooms or forums. Just an idea.
