Even my girlfriend does it. I was sexually molested as a child and I was raped by my ex boyfriend. Whenever I try to come out to someone, they ask me if I'm a lesbian because of this. I don't know how many times I can tell people "I'm not a lesbian because I was raped by a boy. I was raped by a boy because I refused to have sex because I'm a lesbian." It's already hard enough having nightmares about these inccidents, but now it's affecting my relationship with my qirlfriend, who I love. She's convinced I don't love her because she doesn't think I'm a real lesbain. What do I do?
Have you sat down and tried to talk to her about whats going on ? I don't see why people think that you being abused made you lesbian ,NOBODY deserves to be treated that way I am so so sorry some looser did that to you !!! You are lesbian because deep down you choose to be and don't let them get you down . I am so proud of you for joining EC and talking about your problems with us . I am here if you ever need to talk I will do my best to help you that is if you want to
I have this problem too. My family thinks that being sexually abused "turned me" gay. Which is ridiculous. I've told them over and over that I exclusively liked girls before the abuse started...but...nope. Apparently, according to them, I don't know enough to be right about my own sexuality. It's stupid. As for your girlfriend thinking you don't love her because you aren't a "real" (whatever that is) lesbian. Well, it sounds like she's using it as an excuse. If you love her, you love her and her trying to twist it around and saying that you CAN'T because she doesn't believe you know yourself...that's wrong, in my opinion. I would talk to her and maybe see if there is a gay support group near you where you can go and talk with someone about this. Personally, I just ignore this part of my family's weirdness, but I don't think you can do that since it is your girlfriend you are talking about. Maybe let her know how much it hurts you that she is saying these things.
Same here! What people don't understand is that stress makes it all the more harder to deal with things, along with the criticism and non-support. Instead of analyzing, they should be understanding, and accepting. Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I agree with SpaceSuit, let your girlfriend know that she hurts you with what she's saying. 'Real' lesbian..pfffft. *HUGS*(*hug*)
I'm sorry that you are made to feel this way, I think it is often an excuse some people make about why someone might be a lesbian, or gay but it is not generally the true reason.. You are born that way and wether something bad happened to you or not, it doesn't make you any less of a lesbian because of it.. I think you really need to just sit down with your girlfriend and tell her how it makes you feel when she assumes that you aren't a real lesbian, maybe it is her way of putting up walls as well.. But I don't think that is fair on either of you, so I really think you need to just have a talk about it and be very open and frank and honest.
Well I was groped twice (when I was young, 10-11 yrs old) by older men, around the last year of elementary. It was a time when: - Puberty was starting - My eyes went to older men's packages and that I wanted to grab em. Started to watch straight porn, led to gay porn. - I had the attraction towards females and I wanted to date them because they were someone that I was interested in (in terms of LTR) - I had, I guess you can say, low self-esteem But I don't have an attraction towards guys my age. Isn't that odd? The feeling I had with my ex-girlfriend is definitely not the same with the guys that I desire sexually. The hell is going on?!
