Okay, it's not like the usual "she's straight, how do i move on?". she's lesbian and she use to really like me but i rejected her because my dad didn't approve and then i ended up falling for her, slowly but surely. i told her my feelings and she said she felt the same but after we kissed and some other stuff, she said she didn't feel the same...that it felt awkward.. i was obviously heartbroken and ended up hurting her, calling her names and attacking her on a personal level so when i tried to make up for it, she pushed me away and said she didn't want to have anything to do with me but yet, she still responds to my texts and refuses to block me and yes i know i shouldn't hurt people but i tend to do that. :/ anyway we're okay now but she said she doesn't want to let me in because she was attached to me and i said she can't get attached to me (assuming she meant romantically) but she said she was and still is and she said if she doesn't forgive me, it makes it easier her to not get attached/ . so i have a couple of questions, what does she mean by attached? and how do i move on as best as i can? i want to keep fighting her for some stupid reason but i can't ..so. i'll give the text messages that she sent Her: "everyone deals with hurt in different ways. you're not just a bitch, you just care too much. humans are selfish, even i am. we do whats best for us without thinking or caring about hurting others because its our defense mechanism. at least it's mine and no its not fair but its just the way things go. for me, not forgiving someone is whats best for me to move on because if i have a reason to dislike someone, it makes not getting attached to someone that much easier and leaving a hell of a lot easier" Me: you can't get attached to me though Her: "i was and still am. you still dont understand that, i had let you in and i don't do that for many people. i dont do that for very many people. i pushed you away for your own sake and mine"
Sounds like she has either been hurt in the past or is just not very accepting of emotional attachment towards others. Now as for meaning she has a romantic attachment or just a strong friendship with you, I'm unsure. I think she needs time. If you two continue to speak, just talk very casually. Usually the person will come around when he/she is ready.
As QuietGuy said it's either a romantic attachment or a strong friendship. The best thing you can do right now is to give her space. Try to take your mind off everything by partying, shopping or getting a massage.
Just ask her what she means. She's probably afraid of you hurting her emotionally. Sounds like she cares so much about you that she still replies to your texts even after your outburst. But give her a couple weeks of space or days. But you both can't leave this unfinished. I have a bff who is attached to me and I'm attached to him. You should fight for her. At least have a new and improved friendship to start out with.
Wow. That's a great story. I think you are in a really good position here. She's leaving the door open. All you need to do is keep trying. She wants to be sure you are serious. I'm 100% on her side with this one. She REALLY liked you but you dumped her based on someone else's opinion. There's a wonderful Dionne Warwick song with the lyric, "This world may end, not you and I." That's how people feel when they are in love. Your dumping her proves you didn't feel that way at that time. So now you have to EARN her trust back. She has to be sure you really mean it this time and the only way she can is if you prove it to her.
We never dated, I just rejected her the first time but then months later, we kissed and she said it felt awkward and so I got mad etc etc and yeah then this happened and now I'm confused as to whether she likes me
I think you need to just work on your friendship for now.. It sounds like she has come to terms with you rejecting her or is starting to and by not wanting to get attached, she might mean she doesn't want to fall head over heels for you and then for you to hurt her like that again, so she is closing herself off and guarding her heart by putting walls up, so I think before you could ever think something might happen romantically, you need to gain her trust again and I think to do that.. You need to go slowly and work on your friendship and see where it goes from there.
What I'm confused about is why she said the kiss was awkward and she only thought about me only as a sister and now this? Weird. She won't answer my question about what she meant by attached or anything that to do with it. Idk..
She may hate you at some level but relationships are never perfect (and, yes, you do have a relationship with her). It's complicated. She said she IS attached to you. She said if she dislikes someone it makes it easier to move on. She is prepared to do that but hasnt yet so you still have a chance. I think you should stop picking at the scab and just be a good friend. Make dinner for her, watch her pets, listen to her problems, etc. Patience doesn't seem to be one of your strong points but it's essential here. Once she sees you aren't going anywhere the next kiss should be a lot less awkward.
She loves you okay? Why would she still be talking to you? Try to tell her your feelings. Sometimes you need to be vulnerable, she was. She doesn't hate you, just afraid of being hurt. But it seems like she still has feelings for you. I also agree , you should be patient. Don't push her too much bc then she'll be annoyed. Be her friend first
