I don't know why, but I'm just really sad. I was really depressed last year when I moved cities, and I thought is gotten over it. I never went and got help, I just let myself figure it out on my own. Now I've switched schools, and now I'm just sad again. I hate myself so much. I feel so fat, and I hate myself for being so awkward around other people. I'm so awkward; I'll be funny and make people laugh one minute and then say something stupid the next. I have moved schools from last year and I think I've made a stupid decision. I'm just so lonel and I can feel the sadness from last year starting to build up again. I hate it! I didn't get help last year because I was too embarrassed and didn't want to be taken as somebody who just wanted attention. Now I'm hurting inside again and I don't know what to do I'm just so angry at myself. I don't want to talk to my parents because they'll proba just tell me I'm asking for attention too. I just need someone to talk to, but I can't even walk into the councillors office at school because I don't want others to see me do that. I am so scared
It appears like you don't have as much to worry about as you make it out to be. Moving schools can definitely suck, but being the new kid to a school pretty much means people will at least want to get to know you. If there is anything else that's troubling you, you could of course write anything down here and anyone would love to help ^^ As for not wanting to talk to your parents/ counselor- If your parents really think that you would say something like that for attention, then there is some sort of bad disconnect between you and your family. You may be stressing out over nothing and letting your imagination get the best of you, very rarely would a parent not jump at the opportunity to help their child get through a problem in their life. It doesn't even need to be some confrontation with them either, you can just tell them that you're feeling sad and a bit lonely for "x reason" or if you don't want to talk to them about that you could tell them you would like to see a therapist. You should never be afraid to walk into your school counselor, they are there as a resource for students to use for whatever reason. If it isn't talking to the counselor you dislike and only you worrying someone will see you, that's kind of a silly reason to not talk with them. Number One, if someone judges you for just talking with a school counselor, then you probably shouldn't care about what they think anyways if they are that ridiculous. Number Two, if a friend or whoever asks you why you talked to them and you don't want to tell them that you are feeling sad, there is always the possibility of lying and just tell them there was a scheduling error, you couldn't find a classroom, etc. Hope this little bit helped, and whatever you choose to do, good luck ^^
