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Should I make a move?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Wren, Oct 11, 2014.

  1. Wren

    Regular Member

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    Hi guys, needing a little advice about this girl.

    She had her 18th birthday party last weekend, and being one of her good friends, I was there. We all had a fair bit to drink and went back to the end of the garden to have a smoke.

    While we were down there, she kept asking me if I'd ever kissed a girl. She was pretty wasted, and kept repeating that I needed to have my first 'girl kiss'. She kept trying to get me to kiss her, but we were with other people, so I kept laughing it off and pretending I wasn't interested (even though I had more than a slight crush on her). Later on, we played spin the bottle and we had to kiss. She tried to go for full-on snog, but again I stopped her as we were with other people. At this point, she was definitely shitfaced, and I was quite drunk. She then immediately started making out with this other guy (a lotttt), and I decided she was just drunk and tried to forget about the whole thing.

    Later that night, we were sharing a bed with some other people for the night. She was still drunk, and I was sober. Suddenly, she put her arm over my stomach, and started cuddling into the side of my neck, before falling asleep. As you can imagine, I was pretty...distracted by this, and had a sleepless night.

    The next morning, she was embarrassed to find out from us about her kissing requests, but she was mortified about kissing the other guy, and kept saying how much she regretted it. I just laughed about her coming on to me, but I regretted not kissing her when I could, tbh.

    She has a second party coming up (this one's got more people coming) and I can't help but wonder if something will happen. I really, REALLY like her. Do you think she might feel something for me too, or was she just a drunk straight girl? I'm killing myself thinking about it.
     
  2. CornerSign

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    Hm. Hard to say. Are you out to her? If you are, I would say talk to her more about it, ask her if she thinks she's 100% straight. If she's not straight, she would probably be more likely to open up to you, seeing as she would know you could relate.
    If you're not out to her, it's a little trickier. You could try talking to her the way I mentioned above, but she may not be as willing. Another thing you could try would be subtlety hitting on her over the next couple days and see how well she responds maybe. I think the cuddling points towards her liking you. Lots of drunk straight girls kiss each other, but cuddling is a little more intimate.
    I've never gone through anything like this, so I have very little to offer, but that's my two cents. Hope it all goes well!
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    I wouldn't dwell on the fact that you didn't kiss her when she was drunk, even if she did invite it. In all honesty, I think you did the right thing. If she later discovered that you had kissed her she may feel as though you had taken advantage. If it happens again, I think you should show the same restraint.

    I can understand that you want to know her real feelings, but I think you would be wise to address the issue while you are both sober. She obviously knows you are gay so there is no issue there. It might be worth asking a few questions about her hopes for future romance? Who would she like to have a relationship with? Has she got anyone in mind? Leave it fairly open ended and let her tell you if she is thinking about a boy or girl... or best scenario, you!
     
  4. Wren

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    Hey guys, thanks for the advice! Believe it or not, I'm not actually out to her, so I feel like it would be difficult to talk about it with her directly/hit on her without it coming up. I am kind of planning to start coming out soon, but even though we're pretty good friends, I've only known her for a few months and I'm a little nervous as to how she might react (although she might have a clue-I think a few people do).

    yEP THE CUDDLING THO. you are so right on that one-that was the bit that threw me off. At first I was just like 'Ugh, stop trying to kiss me, you breakin' my heart with your straightness' but the cuddle totally drop-kicked my heart into the deep-end of crushdom.

    Yeah, I'm glad I didn't, just in case she's straight and it scared her away from me. I at least want to stay friends with her! I wish she knew I was gay! :I Asking her about relationships is a good idea. I might bring that up next time I see her and see if I can get a handle on her thoughts.

    Any more advice? I'm just moping over this over my tikka masala, so any insight is appreciated.
     
    #4 Wren, Oct 11, 2014
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2014