Any twins on this forum? I need someone who can relate!

For what it's worth, I've been in your situation and I've made it through. You two are already your own people, and with time you two will start to distance (Not in a bad way). I can't really say anything specifically has helped besides time, but if you have any specific questions I can try to answer them.

One thing that might help is finding out what you like personally about your appearance and dressing accordingly. I've dyed my hair sometimes, or had my hair cut the way I want it to be (Independent of him), and we dress very differently too. I also sometimes wear necklaces or bracelets, while he doesn't, and so on. People might not always be able to tell us apart from afar or sometimes even up close, but with time they can learn to do so, and mannerisms, voice, and demeanour should all be very easy clues when trying to differentiate twins. Sometimes people just don't know which name goes with which face, too.

 

I can't relate, but I just wanted you to know that I care about what you're going through. (*hug*)

 

I am a twin, however I am a fraternal twin and although people can tell we are sisters, we don't get picked for being twins, mainly cause I have a physical disability and she doesn't, so it is hard for people to believe two girls who look so differently physically are twins. We do have a close dynamic and bond however, but at the same time.. We have had no issues in being separated. My sister lives with her husband and daughter and to be honest.. We get along better now she doesn't live with me.

My mum used to dress us the same when we were younger and apparently often times then not, we also wanted to be dressed alike till we got to an older age. To be honest.. I can't really relate to what to are saying at all.. Perhaps it it's because I am only a fraternal twin and we have always been seen as being individuals in our own right, so I know my married sister who has a kid and another on the way.. My parents aren't looking at her and thinking this is what you could have or could be as well in relation to me. We are both very different people with very different personalities and it shows.

We have had moments of things that I think only twins can do.. For example.. My sister always used to know the exact moment I was in surgery even if she wasn't told the time I would be going in, even from a very young age. When my sister was pregnant with her first child and even now again as she is pregnant with her second child, I am getting some of her morning sickness.. I know it is that as I am not sick otherwise and it comes in the early morning and usually is gone by mid-morning. We are very protective of each other and are very important to each other, yet I don't have that feeling of no one can measure up to her.

For me, my bond and love with my twin is very different to what I would be looking for in a romantic partner.. I think of it our sisterly bond like any other siblings, except we are a little closer.. We did always used to do everything together and I admit.. I was a little jealous when she began spending more time with her boyfriend (now husband) and it was more to do with feeling like I was losing her rather then not having what she has.. That was solved when I spoke with my mum and she in turn spoke with my sister who then included me in more things.

I'm sorry you are struggling with all of those issues, I think it does tend to stem from not being able to feel like you are an Individual person rather then a partnership with a twin. I think that is what I really love about my sister and I.. We are very much twins and yet we are very much individuals and are treated as such.. The fact my sister is straight is nothing that has ever come into our sisterly bond. She knows I am questioning and knows I might like girls, but has never been told as a matter of fact I am bi/pan, but the of what she does know.. It doesn't change our dynamics.

I think you just do need to start expressing yourself as more of an Individual, change your hair, change your clothing style, my sister is more of a risk taker.. She has her tongue and her belly button pierced whereas I would never take those risks at all.. And you aren't being a hypocrite by thinking what others probably think of you.. It is quite hard to see the difference in identical twins until you really get to know them and then you begin to notice the difference and different little quirks and subtle things..

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are identical twins and when they were younger, you couldn't really tell the difference, which was great when they were on full house cause they needed to look the same.. But now as they have gotten older.. You can really tell the difference because they dress different and have different hairstyles, so you just need to individualize yourself more.. I also think if you are worried about the change in dynamics if you get a girlfriend.. Then it is something that you need to talk to her about and let her know you aren't finding anyone to take her place in your life, you are just looking for a partner to spend your life with, just as she would be with a man.. Let her know that things won't change and when you do find someone.. Actively make sure you include her in things, spend time alone with her still and just let her know you still love her as much as you ever did.. Some people just need reassurance. I know it would be difficult when you have spent your life together and identifying as a twin, but now is your turn to personalize yourself, to be your own person. Don't be afraid of becoming whomever you want to be.

 

I'm an identical twin and I can relate to this so much! All throughout my life I tried to differentiate myself from my twin sister to feel more like an individual. I feel like we are completely different but people can be so superficial. So, I have dyed highlights into my hair in the hopes that people can somehow see the we are different.And to stop people from monolithically grouping us as "the twins"

My sister is straight and I am gay. We are very close and it sometimes hurts to know that she isn't really on the same level as me. So confiding in my sister, regarding my sexuality just doesn't happen. We talk about EVERYTHING else. I also get upset and admittedly jealous of her because I know she'll one day get married to some guy, start a family, have kids ect ect and be normal.

 

i have an identical twin sister and when we are out people get confused. And I know how u feel

 

I'm not a twin, but I can relate as well. In my case, when we were younger, people always thought me and my 2 year younger brother were twins. Really annoying. We didn't dress alike at all, but up until about when I was in high school, our parents made us both have buzz cuts. (I never rreally liked having my hair that short, but I didn't really say much.) We didn't even dress alike (I never really dressed like the,other boys my age, I couldn't stand jeans or properly sized t-shirts, I usually wore polo shirts. By contrast, my brother was a typical boy, jeans ad a T-shirt whenever possible. I never really got how people thought we were twins, and it was frequently annoying.

 

Well, I believe in the twin six-sense thing so maybe lol... But I haven't told her per se. This whole situation is more internalized for me at least.

 

I'm an identical twin and it's annoying as hell being mixed up, I'm the more reserved and shyer twin, and people dont really care for me that much because i am the literal shadow of my sister, it's always "your sister is this" or "your sister is that". However, I do believe in the twin six-sense thing, whenever my sister would feel angry, even when im not properly with her, I do feel her emotions, or when she's ill, I kind of feel her symptoms before the onset of the actual cold if that makes any sense.
Me and my twin are both extremely different people, I dont know if identical or fraternal twins can relate to a "dominant" twin, but she is the dominant one.
I feel as if I cant make decisions because my twin sister will become very aggressive and will start being violent and hostile and as a pacifist, i dont really like conflict.
Don't forget about the annoying people who stare in public at you like you're some martian or some exotic specimen.
And being grouped, dont even get me started, since me amd my twin sister have the same ability in most of our classes, we get put in the same class for that subject, some of my teachers are so rude and have so much prejudice, if one of my teachers cant be bothered to refer to me as my name, they jus refer to me using my surname, which i absolutely despise on so many levels.
Sorry for the long rant, it's so much harder being a twin