OK, so I was planning on coming out to my best friend (we'll just call him Best) yesterday, so I invited a few friends over to my place so we could hang out and talk, but when they got here I decided since I was only telling Best, I should tell him in private, so I was going ask him to be the last to leave (since they were all going to spend the night, including my crush, who we'll call Crush) and tell him then. So I decided to just enjoy myself for the night and have a good time with my friends. The thing is, we were all having some drinks and I may have had too many. I remember not being too drunk, then I had two tequila shots and next thing I know, I wake up in my bed (there were no blankets in it) wearing nothing but my underwear (and it wasn't even the one I remember putting on). HOPEFULLY I was alone in the bed, so I got out of it and went to the living room in search of answers. Best had already left, so it was just me and Crush. I asked him "what the fuck happened last night?" and he explained the situation, which hopefully wasn't as bad as what was going trough my head. Apparently after the shots I went to the bathroom, but in the way I felt sick and decided to lie down on my bed and I ended up throwing up all over it. My friends saw it, and took me to the bathroom so I could take a shower (I have no memory of this, but I was told I was wearing underwear at all times, which is nice) and cleaned up the sheets. But I wasn't accepting help from anyone but Crush, and whenever someone else tried to help, I would yell "NO, GET CRUSH, I WANT HIM!!" and was very rude to them. So for the rest of the night, Crush held my hair while I threw up (he said he felt like we were two trashy girls on prom night) and he cleaned up after me and took good care of me, and the he took me to my bed. He also said it was very weird that I only wanted his help. So now I'm here felling like garbage, have been throwing up all day, haven't eaten at all, and I'm just so ashamed of what happened. I made it so obvious that I had feelings for Crush, I didn't get to come out to best, and I offended all of my friends. I already apologized for everything and they were very understanding and cool (I have the best friends in the world) but I still feel absolutely miserable. And hungry. And sick. I don't know what happened exactly and I may have said things I shouldn't have, like declare my feelings for crush (I have no memory of what happed and he may have left some information out). I don't know how to proceed from here and how to act around my friends anymore. I feel completely discouraged to come out at all now, and I really need to talk about it. Anyway, thanks for reading this long post and advices are wellcome.:help:
you need to act like nothing happened you were drunk hell a lot of men have made big mistakes by being drunk so its not your fault it wasnt you its like someone walking in their sleep or something also dont worry if they were as cool and understanding i dont think you need to do anything since you already said sorry to everyone in the party also just take this advice next time dont drink too much if you can dont drink at all grab something else to drink other than alcohol especially in a party you never know first time throwing up everywhere next time who knows what !
