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Need to share this, no one I can tell!!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by LuxMint, Oct 14, 2014.

  1. LuxMint

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I really have been holding in a lot that I can't talk about, a lot I have mixed feelings on. I have definitely known I'm bi forever but mainly just had relationships with men. I got married several years ago and have kids. He's a good person but we both have known for the past few years we don't feel close or communicate much (aside from about the kids). It's a situation where neither of us feel happy and we both know it, but we haven't taken steps to divorce.

    So my dilemma comes from a relationship I started with a woman younger than me. I work with her; she and I joke, talk and feel close and are super attracted to one another. It started as a friendship and quickly, there was a very strong vibe that there was more. It's her first time with a woman but she's been aggressive about pushing our relationship forward. We've now become inseparable, in-love and seeing each other 6 days a week - we're basically happy doing anything and everything as long as we're together. Only things is she's a bit possessive and somewhat demanding on my time, like not letting me go home when I try and wanting me to text all the time when we're not together. But I am totally crazy about her too so I mostly don't mind. I know that the pace should eventually taper off.

    Obviously my husband noticed this and is now pushing me for divorce... not that he knows I'm having a full-on sexual relationship with her, but he senses enough to know it's more than a friendship and we've talked about splitting up. I feel bad about what I'm doing to him, and I feel like I must be crazy to be consumed in this relationship so quickly.

    I thought I was settled and accepting of how my life was. After meeting her, things are totally confusing. I'm really happy with her, though it's only been a couple months. She does things that definitely make me feel cared about/listened to/valued/respected.

    Anyone been there and can share? I don't have any gay friends and know one in my life knows I'm even bi.
     
  2. SpaceSuit

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    I've never been where you are, but if you've only been together a couple of months and you describe her as "possessive", "demanding", and "aggressive" then I don't really see how this could be a long-term relationship. Obviously you know your feelings better than anyone else, but, to me, it sounds like a very passionate affair to fill a need left by your tepid relationship with your husband rather than a potentially life-long commitment. I would give it a lot of thought and talk to both your husband and your girlfriend honestly and openly about how you are feeling, what you want for your future, and what you want for and from them. In this way you can get a better idea of where they are as well. It might help clarify both relationships.
     
  3. forget me knots

    Regular Member

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    Hi Lux... Billy here.
    I have some things to share with you.

    When someone doesn't feel loved it can be very painful. I know this from experience. The loneliness can make almost any opportunity for love possessive because of fear of losing that connection with someone. You're not to blame for this sudden rush of passion it's because you need someone. Someone that can fulfill your needs. Something your husband can't do because even though you might like him, the idea of connecting with him on a romantic level is unrealistic. So don't beat yourself up.

    ---------- Post added 14th Oct 2014 at 08:40 PM ----------

    You are a wonderful human being who deserves someone to care for her. Please remember that <3