Hi everyone。 I need some advice. It all started when this guy started to work at my job after getting transferred. He was very inquisitive and I didn't know what to think of it. He asked really random questions too about things I normally never think about. One day he asked me "if I had ever cheated on anyone before?" I replied "I never even been in a relationship" and he says "well I never cheated on any one I ever dated before, in case you Were wondering" I was waiting for a fellow up statement but nothing else was said. Fast forward to present day about a half a year after the previous event and few more awkward encounters between us. I went to Japan over summer break and came back to work after two months. I was kind of happy to come back for many reasons one being him. At this time I wasn't sure what to think of him still because A friend of mine asked him a question about his girlfriend and I thought he had one so I never thought about dating him. I started to think he was just being friendly. The conversations between us are always kind of personal and be gets really close to me, like face to face close or It would be if he wasn't tall. I also went though this point when I thought he was interested in other guys and this made me jealous but I got over it and him after some self coaching and talks with my best friend. I avoided him a bit to make sure I wouldn't relapse. Recently he told me I was handsome and I just said thank you but tried to keep the conversation going but then some other coworkers walked in well things started to make less sense. Turns out there isn't a girlfriend but he still likes girls because they were talking about this girl who came into work. I finished my food and left the room feeling a bit lost. I wouldn't feel this way but he always says things when others are not around that makes me wonder. There was also a conversation about making the first move and someone said he never makes the first move and he said that he doesn't and that he waits for the other person to do it. I'm don't know what I should think. I started to think that maybe he isn't comfortable about being openly gay and since I'm not either not to many people, he might need me to make some kind of move? or should I just forget about it?
I think if you are interested in having a relationship with him then talk to him about and let him know that you are confused by his advances, but that you wouldn't mind getting to know him better. If you aren't interested in having a relationship with him then tell him that his advances are making you confused and uncomfortable and you would like it if he remained professional at work. Just talk with him openly about it the next time you have an opportunity. If you don't, this will just keep happening with no resolution.
It must be very awkward for him, and you to have any meaningful conversations at work. The possibility of a colleague walking in is always there and that may be one of the reasons why he says things in a fairly random way (to make his point quickly without interruption). How would you feel about asking him to join you for a drink after work at some point? When you are both relaxed it may be easier to talk and the rather stunted conversations you share at work may develop and reveal more about his thoughts and feelings. If you go out for a drink together you could maybe refer back to the comment he made about you being "handsome"... say how it took you by surprise. You just need to find a way to move beyond the awkwardness, if you can.
Thanks for the advice. After reading this I now have a better understanding if the situation and why things are developing the way they are. I get really scared when ever he starts to go on in those awkward situations and can't really say much. I'm not sure if he waiting on some kind of approval from me and I don't know if I'm confident enough to do so. * I don't think I could ever ask him out for drinks because it's too bold for me and my friend would probably call me a coward but I just couldn't and he knows I don't drink so it would imply to much. * * He offered to teach me how to skateboard rather randomly a couple of weeks ago. Would it be weird to bring it back up or is there another way to openly talk? I don't know is the Internet appropriate?
Re: So unsure!!! 。 If you are happy to go along with the idea of him teaching you to skateboard why not? It will at least give you an opportunity to spend some social time with him and see if the tone of the conversation changes. Bear in mind that he may also be a little shy and socially awkward, so that could be another reason why he says things in a fairly random way. Sometimes you have to take a bit of a step back and consider the possible reasons why someone might behave in a certain way.
I texted him a thank you massage privately on a app because he kinda helped me recover from a cold I had the last time I was at work. He replied pretty quickly but didn't see it until a few seconds ago because I welled my self to sleep because I was afraid of a reply. I'm a loser for that I should of just dealt with it so I sent him the right massage and replied back to his reply in a timely fashion. Do you think I might have sent him the wrong idea by replying late?:bang:
