i feel like being genuinely bisexual is actually so hard. or at least it is for me, i guess i shouldn’t generalize. look, i’ll preface this by saying we aren’t over-sexed, we aren’t attracted to every single person we see, and we aren’t more likely to cheat than anyone who identifies as 100% gay or 100% straight. but for me, it’s becoming really hard to be in a long term relationship with a man. i resent the testosterone, i miss the soft curves, i want the type of romantic, relational communication that only two girls can have; i crave dat pussy. i remember, at like 8 yrs old, feeling SO confused by the fact that people seemed to be making their decisions on who they loved based on whether they had a penis or a vagina—to me, it felt natural to just be simultaneously attracted to a person’s humanity and physical appearance, no matter their anatomy. as an adult, i obviously understand attraction isn’t about choice, and now i’m really struggling with the fact that no matter what i choose, it does feel that i’m always going to be missing out on something, and i’m not sure how to process and live with that fact. anyone else feel this way? i'm scared to talk about this in real life. would love any thoughts or advice.
In my opinion, I don't feel like i'd be missing anything if I choose one side or the other (that's the beauty of finding someone who is everything to you). Maybe it also depends on how you sexually, physically and romantically feel about each sex.
I always felt what you're saying before. I was adamant that I wouldn't feel this way. But now I'm in a 3 year relationship with someone who is perfect for me--we have NO issues; I have no complaints about him or our relationship, yet over the past 6 months I find myself craving a relationship with a woman.
I'm not in a relationship, but I hear you. I think its just as any relationship though. We all will crave things once in a while from the other sex that we are not with. That's part of life. But I think the important question is to ask, am I willing to give up everything I have with this person for the sake of what I want? As in any relationship (gay or straight) they choose to commit to the 1 person of the sex they enjoy. I think the hard part about being bi is that we genuinely do love both sexes and either way we do miss out on one when we choose to be with the other. So yes, we are missing out on one gender. That being said, there is so much more you end up gaining by choosing to be with one person and focusing on the relationship. Trust me, it's much more sexier to a guy when he sees the girl working on the relationship (but NOT being clingy). Does your boyfriend know you are bi? If so, why not talk to him about a few of these things (not all)? If he doesn't know, maybe just be open with him that you are glad with how much he communicates (always start with positive) don't say but, instead say and I would love to have more open communication, but how do we that as a couple?
Monogamy is not for everyone. As much as it used to kill me to have to read or think that, I had to learn to accept it. Accept your attractions for what they are. If you do love him and do want to remain with him, talk to him! Tell him how you feel and bring up being in an open or 3-piece (lol) relationship. Assuming he's straight, and this is not to stereotype all straight men, he'll more than likely be open to it. No matter what happens, though, do what you feel is best for him and yourself. If you stay, talk to him about this and he's totally against it, you'll end up resenting or taking your frustration out on him... What starts off subtly will eventually become blatant, then he'll be unhappy from the mistreatment. If he accepts or says he's willing to try, then make sure you both have an understanding of what's going to go down and have at it. Best of luck to you.
