Hi I'm new here and would seriously appreciate some advice I had a lesbian relationship for several years in the past Since I have had several relationships with guys Now I have fallen hard for a work colleague and I feel so out of my depth I think she's gay but I'm in no way sure and I feel like she's flirting but again I'm not sure !! How can I do anything about this without making a fool of myself and making things hard at work ! Any advice massively appreciated
Maybe you should get closer to her first until you are comfortable with each other as friends. Then you should probably go somewhere together outside of work where you could discuss things without having to be professional in a working environment. Maybe later on when you're closer you should tell her you're bisexual and ask subtle questions that could possibly reveal her views on LGBT and her own orientation. Also get a little physical at times, like if you're laughing together maybe put your hand on her thigh, if she's got a strand of hair loose you could push it behind her ear, flirty touchy stuff like that. Also look out for eye contact. If you two are talking, look her in the eye and if she's looking straight back at you with this look - i'm not sure exactly how to describe it - it's like a spark in her eyes, you'll know when you feel it. If that happens, the little spark in the way you look at each other, the eye contact, then there's definitely something there. And also try to notice how she looks at another woman when they walk by. Does she quickly glance the other girl up and down? Look at the eye movement, it's really quick make sure you don't miss it. If you spot her checking another girl out like that, you'll probably get a hint. Good luck! x
^ Those are some good advice but I wouldn't try to go physical on her. I think glancing at her just to see the way she looks at women is enough. kidult is right about getting to know her and starting off as friends. That's pretty much the basic part and serves as a flexible purpose.
You might have a look at this: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/155560-friendly-flirty.html
Thanks so much guys for the advice it was really great I only see her like once per week with work and it's driving me insane !! She is all I can think about I feel like I'm going crazy Then when I see her I get nervous and end up being too jokey and stuff I think Argh ! Is it possible to look in someone's eyes and feel such a massive connection and the other person to feel nothing do you think ??!!
Well, we all like to believe that the opposite person is also feeling the connection as much as we do I've had such experiences too. Since i'm no saint, I'd like to go a little physical too. This, after I reveal that I may have feelings. You needn't say your bisexual or anything of that sort. But you can definitely let her know that you're getting fond of her to an abnormal extent and that she better stay alert Good luck buddy
Thanks so much ! I met her at the supermarket today and she gave me a big hug and seemed pleased to see me... could just be friendly I know!! But I can't control my brain or my mouth or anything when I speak to her it's like the craziest crush ever I was shaking for like 5 minutes after !!! I just wish I definitively knew she was gay ..
know what??! Dont even go to find if she's gay or not! I've come to learn that you do what feels right. Doesn't mean you rip off her clothes and start off But yeah, if I were you, I'd hold a longer gaze, give a half "i know all" kinda smile, shy away a number of times(this comes naturally to me) that should drop a hint!!
