How do you deal with people making derogatory remarks at gays and lesbians?

Knowledge and experience makes a big difference. Many of the LGBT allies I talk to comment how they used to be closed-minded until a friend/family member they knew and cared about turned out to be LGBT. Of course not every person is going to be accepting, but most people will put in the effort if they already know and like you. It's not your responsibility to educate people of course, but it helps to offer information if people are receptive.

With friends and family I will try to point out when they are making assumptions, provide insight and info.

I came from a very small town where just about everyone was pretty conservative. I think in the last decade things have improved a lot. Every time I visit my parents I notice how much it improves. People will hopefully surprise you and make the effort to understand.

 

Personally I'd just punch em in the face

 

I am sorry to hear you don't have a big support system in place where you would feel comfortable coming out to them at the moment. I have a lot of friends whom I know are already supportive of LGBT rights and would be fine with it, but to be worried they won't accept you when you do come out is really hard and does make you feel down. I think just learn to be a little more tough skinned and let their words just roll off you and not affect you..

Also like alwaysforever mentioned.. It might be more ignorance and not being aware of issues that and so giving them some insight into it and just maybe voice your opinion that you are at least a supportive of LGBT rights without coming out first.. Maybe that might make them be a little more respectful around you knowing you don't particularly like or agree with what they are saying and that might be different if they knew someone who was involved in the LGBT world as well. I hope you are able to get the support you need from them when you do come out as I think you are a wonderful woman. ~hugs~

 

If it's something ignorant or childish like a joke about anal sex, I can brush it off. But I cannot deal with blatant demonizing a group of people.

 

Will this help??

Homophobic Friends - What to Do About Homophobic Friends

 

Just kick their ass

 

If it's just randomly generated hate, I'll ask them why they hate gay people. They typically don't have a coherent response, and that reminds me that they are just ignorant and don't know better.

 

I came out to a good friend of mine and some of the things she says... I think to myself wow did she just say that. I don't think she says her comments to be mean I think she doesn't know the difference. She was raised similar to me so I can understand why she would assume cretin things. I never pointed her remarks out to her though. I think the next time she says something I might.

 

Tell them to stop being arseholes or just say screw it and tell them what you feel.

 

The irony is when I came out to my friend when I was in secondary school (thought I was completely gay then), she was all "Ewwww, don't hit on me"

and my response was simply:
"Babe, I only hit on pretty women."

 

...When people make those remarks in my school, I stand up for gays and transgenders, and afterwards completely denying I am one to school-kids.
However, if my Godmother does, who I love dearly, I kinda nod my head and sit there quietly, trying not to feel crushed inside...