I desperately need help please

Hey,

You seem stressed. And there's no way we could shun it from life altogether.

Get into some physical activity. Gym, football, baseball or anything that gets your adrenaline rushing.
It'll calm you down.

You'll be able to answer things yourself after that.

And believe me, however you are right now, you can change.
Your just 16!!

 

Hi.

One thing I have learned in life that things are not permanent and the only thing that's constant is change. Sometimes we feel good and sometimes we feel crappy. Feeling crappy is a part of life and these problems that come to us are simply temporary.

I don't know your life's story but I am sure things do tend to get better soon. If you don't know what to keep you from going, think about yourself. Achieve happiness. Plan for your future. Clutch that plan close to your heart and it will keep you going.

I am actually going through a tough time now. I am alone and lonely. I could not come out because of certain factors that will have an intense impact in my life if I did. But I persevere. I dream. Someday, there will be a time that I can be happy and free.

Also, what alleviated my burden is joining this community and posting about my life. Stick around. We are here for you.

 

Why do you think you are a terrible person? Nothing I've read from you remotely suggests that. All I see is a boy who feels alone and wants to fall in love with someone special.

 

Is there anything you want to confess?
This, so that it becomes clear as to why you think you're terrible

 

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. If I could, I would give you a huge hug and a pint of ice cream. Sometimes I feel like you too. Really. But then I think. I think about my girlfriend, my mom and dad, and even my grandparents. I ask myself, "Do you know how sad they would be if you weren't here?" And I run to them and give them hugs. Because no matter how annoying they get, no matter how much I get mad at them, I love them. And nothing will ever change that. Things will get better. And in the meantime, we're all here for you. I hope this helps.
Your friend,
B

 

I would miss you. You were one of my first friends here. And that's something you can't not miss. And you're honest with your feelings. That's something that I don't see very often. EC would miss you VERY much. Don't forget this a SUPPORT forum. We're here for you, and that's not a lie.(&&&)

 

kid focus on getting better foo is on you ,treat ur self with love nd dignity you deserve ,enjoy life ,go to the live ,go the lgbt center ,take us a job and meet people , focus on getting a diploma and a degree in college nd focus on getting a job after college . I had ur attitude after I dropped college the people who I hung out with did not hang with me anymore they weren't friends bc I was depressed . Actually I learned there is no such thing as friends . You just focus on life nd enjoy life till ur old ur 16 have some fun but dont hook up . I pray my problems out nd take a activity nd watch a movie ,I stay fit nd have a laugh with my boyfriend. I even sleep off my depression and it helps . Enjoy good people that are in ur life right now and cherise them if the bonds in ur life fade let them fade just enjoy people as long as they are there .

 

Mate, you remind me of myself when I was 15, I was depressed and much like you I called everyone fake friends. I never used pity to get friends though because I always saw myself as an outcast.

What you need is a friend or a therapist or a school counsellor for you to talk to and help you out of your depression that is what worked for me. I was able to generate a more positive self by simply not caring and only having an extremely small group of true friends.

I was at one stage of my depression thinking no one would miss me if I killed myself and my friend kept saying yes they would care. You don't need to tell your therapist all the details, just tell him that you are lonely and he will try and help you.

Mate, just look at me, I'm pretty content with my life so far and I was as deep as you were in depression at 15, so just change your outlook on life. I had to change my outlook as I treasured way too much before my depression, when I came out of it, I was a new man with a new look at life. I was a stronger man for having gone through it. So keep on living mate,

You can get out of depression, just as I did.

Also seriously kid, you do remind me of myself, I was exactly like you when I was younger. Before my depression I was a funny and laidback guy and afterwards I changed into who I am today someone who is long lasting but less emotional and bubbly and certainly more introverted.

 

ch59, it might feel like you are the only person who is going through this right now. It might feel like you are the only person with an enduring loss of hope, but I promise you, it's not like that at all. Other members have already shared some of their own experiences with you, and whilst I concede they are not living your life and experiencing your unique set of feelings, there is at least a certain level of understanding and empathy. Hang on to that thought amid the dark emotions.

A few things stood out to me from that snipped quote from your original posting. The first thing was the language you used to describe yourself.. sad, mad, stupid, not funny, weird. All of those words emphasise negatives and believe me, they are not just words. When you use catastrophic terms like that, you are bound to spend your time fixated on the bad aspects of your life and while that's happening there is simply no room for a different set of thoughts or opinion.

The second thing that caught my attention from that quote was your decision to skim over that comment about your parents. Is it really another story with no connection to your feelings?

It's really great that you retain the motivation to keep yourself fit. That's more positive than you realise as many depressed people turn to junk food and stop all exercise. Keeping fit stops you from becoming more sluggish, so take something from that too.

I don't know if you have considered the idea of talking therapy? I suspect there are issues going back a few years that may be fuelling the dark thoughts and it could really help you to explore them with a qualified person. If you keep them locked up inside they will fester away and drag you down even more. Opening up can break the cycle and stop you from feeding the despair with silence. What do you think?

Don't devalue your feelings by talking about a pity party. Again, that sort of language is catastrophic to your emotional well-being. Every person who has sent a response has taken time to think about your situation and type out their comment. They're not thinking about a pity party, and nor am I. We replied because we care.

Stay connected. Keep at it. (*hug*)

 

All that means is that you're unhappy, not a bad person. There's a massive distinction.

First of all, if you don't like these people you probably don't give off a positive vibe around them so I wouldn't read too much into them considering you a downer. I think pretty much everybody gets a little bit cold when surrounded by people they don't care for.

Look, any advice I can provide is rather hypocritical because I'm in a similar situation. I just haven't liked myself very much over the past year. Work has gone great for me, but otherwise I have essentially no social life at the moment and am not really close with anyone. I blame most of this on being too much of a chicken to tell my parents that I'm gay, but beyond that I have a difficult time believing that someone could ever fall in love with me. I mean I think I'm a nice enough guy, but I just can't picture it.

Despite that, you have to move forward. Understand that it's your perception of yourself that's the problem, not who you really are. I don't know much about you, but my impression is that you care about how you impact other people and that alone elevates you above so many others. It might be a slow journey, but try to realize that you have something to offer other people. You're not a burden -- you can be a legitimate friend, boyfriend, whatever. Take a hard look at yourself and think about what makes you unique, what you have to offer other people. I guarantee if you'll find some great characteristics that you've been overlooking.

This may sound kind of lame, but one thing I do to stop me from feeling like the world is crumbling around me is to make sure to identify at least one positive thing about my day before I go to sleep. Sometimes it's difficult and sometimes it ends up being such a minor thing, but it helps me. Whatever you're feeling now is something that you're going to look back on as such a minor bump in the road when you're older so try to keep that in perspective.

Hang in there -- you seem like a good guy.

 

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!!!


You are 21, or so your info suggests............

You are in your "transition" period from childhood to adulthood.

Some people slide into it, others have slight issues, while others have major problems with this.

I am like you, I had a major problem with this. BUT............
I realized one day that the ONLY person dragging me down, was ME.
It's a harsh thing to have to be honest with yourself, but if you want to get out of this without having to go on anti-depression drugs or mental therapy, then you have to work on you and be totally HONEST with yourself!

I fought my "demons" for three years when I was in my 20's, even got severely depressed because of it, but I finally hit a point where I finally won!

I had the same thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Didnt want to live, wondered "why me" all the time, couldn't contemplate WHY nobody wanted to date me, wondered WHY everything was so sucky and going wrong, etc, etc, etc....

I had to fight myself every day on this crap filling my head. Self doubt is a tortuous and dangerous thing.

But I fought it. I found ways to fight it, and it took me three years of doing it, but I finally did it.

I won't say I'm "well adjusted", but I'm not the depressed, wanna-be dead guy I used to be.

I turned it all around and I am better for it.


You will too. You just have to start fighting your own inner "demons" that are dragging you down. And the only way to do that is to be honest with yourself, and fight to change those things that you are doing to yourself that are dragging you down.

 

^ 21 is his post count. I think he's a lot younger than that.

 

Woah, that changes absolutely everything. You are in a toxic environment and the people that are supposed to love you the most are instead 100% responsible for your suffering. You are a remarkable person for staying so composed in such a difficult situation -- please don't ever lose sight of that!

As for what your "mother" is planning on telling her hateful Church friends, who gives a shit. Their opinions don't define you. No matter what anybody else says don't let yourself believe that being gay in any way diminishes who you are. I mean think about it -- you're a bad person because of who you can love? That's total bullshit.

I really, really wish I knew how to help you. At the very least if you're already 16 then you're only two years away from being free, but you shouldn't have to wait that long. I hope there is someone else in your life you can seek help from whether it's another family member, a teacher, or whoever because it's absolutely unfair for you to have to live feeling threatened, unsafe, and ashamed of who you are. I know it doesn't mean much, but try to remember that are people here and elsewhere who are completely on your side and know that you deserve much, much better than this.

Please hang in there. (*hug*)