I am biologically female but have felt male since I was 13. I'm 19 now and still feel this way. I keep hoping that my feelings would change but they haven't. Every night since I was 13 I have wished I would wake up male. I didn't have a problem with my body until my breast started to develop and my body became more feminine. I hate it so much I have become so depressed I cant stand it. I have tried doing things to make myself feel more like a woman. Trying to care more about fashion, my looks, weight, and even looked into getting breast implants. The more I do to become feminine the more depressed I get. I want so badly to be happy being a woman. I don't want to be transgender. I just want to know if there is anything I can do to change the way I feel or am I stuck like this?
It's extremely unlikely your feelings will change, as far as I'm aware there isn't a way to stop being transgender, especially since you've felt like this for so long.
I am sorry you are struggling with your feelings.. I don't think pushing the thoughts away or trying to make yourself feel more female by dressing and utilizing makeup will make it better.. If anything, it is probably going to make it worse cause deep down you feel like you are a man and dressing and trying to act like the opposite of how you feel. You have already mentioned being more depressed when you are trying to become more feminine, so I think you already know deep down what your answer is.. I just think you need to take your time in starting to accepting it. Just know that you have a lot of people here who will be here for toy and whom are very supportive as well.
You're male. A man. Manly manly man Does it feel even a little bit good to know someone sees that? Maybe not from my goofing around, but someone you cared about, if they said 'yeah course you're a man'. Honestly, things get a lot better when you go 'ok this is what I am, lets enjoy that and all it means' than to go 'no I need to be a girl, I have to be a girl, why can't I be a girl.' It's not a perfect fix, by any means, it won't cure dysphoria.. but there's something to be said for accepting yourself.
See a therapist, it's a feeling that might be some kind of ocd loop. It is ultimately your choice because you are an adult but there are many paths toward acceptance. It's much easier to accept the body you are given than reject it completely in the long run. Unfortunately gender dysphoria is a disorder that cannot be treated like depression or other mental things, so your best bet would be a supportive therapist
