Hey guys, I've got friend who is feeling very depressed lately. The thing is that his father did something terrible to his family and he wants to ask him why he did that but in order to do that his father told him he has to be in the same position as he is in order to understand. I know this part didnt really make sense to me either but he didnt want me to know the whole story. Anyways, he's now studying the same thing his father studied because he once wants to beat him in his career and be better than him. He doesnt care about anything else than beating his father and asking him that question he was telling me about. His life goal is basically to beat his father. He knows that what he is doing is stupid but he does still want to move on because he doesnt believe that he could make his life greater and give it a purpose. What should I advise him to do? Is there anything I could tell him or let him think about? I'd appreciate any answer.
I'm not sure what the terrible thing that his father did to his family was, but I do know that a parent has a very strong, influential impact on their children. They can impact their kids negatively or positively. I know this because I'm just learning at the age of 22 how much my father impacted me throughout my life and to this very day. His emotionally abusive and degrading attitude to me throughout my childhood has been a huge contributing factor to my current anxiety disorder and depression with suicidal behavior. Anyway, it sounds like your friend is devoting his entire life to put his dad in his place and prove him wrong. The problem with that is that I think your friend isn't getting what he wants out of life for himself. He still lets his father have control over him. He should study a career path that he wants to pursue for the right reasons. Trust me, I spent many years of my life trying to get my father to change his ways but it got me nowhere because he doesn't want to change. I think your friend needs to focus his energy on taking care of himself instead of focusing on a negative part of his life which is his father. Hope this helps. Message me if you ever need to talk.
