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things change

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Sam2, Nov 3, 2014.

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  1. Sam2

    Sam2
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    Life is weird, probably is to everyone. Got in a big fight with my mom yesterday, but idk how i feel about it. She was ranting about something(despite all Ive been through), if im being honest i wasn't really listening. But then she called me a "Drama Queen" because of my recent attempt at my life. Drunk and angry, I asked her why she is the way she is, and why she doesn't love me. I remember being little and she wasn't like that. she just said "Things change" It was weird, such a strait forward answer, it was all too clear. She doesn't want me. so I smiled and said that she was right things do change, then spit in her face grabbed my things and left(But the spit thing was the booze not me). later that night my dad called and told me he'd pay for an apartment till my bones healed and I could start work again, a very kind thing to do.

    Its really strange, because for once after a fight, I'm not angry. I'm not sad. Im not even drunk which for me is an accomplishment. I feel... good! I mean until tomorrow im literally a bum, typing this from my phone about to fall asleep in my car. but Im so happy to be out of that house, away from that bitch. Probably a messed up thing to say, but i really hate my mom. ever since I "came out" she has persistently made my life hell. soooo does that just make me scum or what? anyone think that's reasonable? any input is appreciated
     
    #1 Sam2, Nov 3, 2014
  2. Blossom85

    Blossom85
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    I don't think it makes you scum at all, I think if your mother is not accepting of you and not being supportive, then you need to do what is best for you. I am so sorry that she has not been treating you well and I hope you are able to get some peace and be able to live a little more at ease and happy now that you are away from her. Your Dad sounds like he is being supportive and kind in helping you to pay for an apartment so lean on him if you can and if he is willing to be there for you.
     
    #2 Blossom85, Nov 3, 2014
  3. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    You cannot be responsible for your Mom's emotional stability (or instability). The only person you can look out for is yourself. Do that to the best of your ability and lean on people who love and care for you (that includes us, by the way).

    Does it feel like your Mom brought an end to your relationship with her with those comments? Maybe you have finally got a feeling of closure and no longer see any reason to argue or fight with her? If it does feel like that, I can understand why you might feel more relieved than sad. When you are able to see an end to a horrible situation that's been so devastating it can lift you Sam. What do you think?

    So no, it doesn't really sound messed up at all. In fact, it sounds quite reasonable when you consider everything. You're certainly not scum either.
     
    #3 PatrickUK, Nov 3, 2014
  4. Chip

    Chip
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    Sam, what happened was, honestly, amazing. You stood up to your mom, perhaps for one of the first times ever, and owned your strength and your right to exist. That's huge.

    Her response shows just how broken and fucked up she is. And that's really sad, because our parents are supposed to be unconditionally loving and supportive. It isn't right and it isn't fair, but I am proud of you for simply doing what you did. And clearly your dad understands and wants you to be well.

    I know from what you've said how hard you have struggled. And again, I think you have a lot to be proud of in how you are working to get yourself in a better place. It's a on derail thing that your dad is paying for an apartment for you but honestly, given what a piece of work your mom is, it's the only right thing to do

    Please keep on keeping on. And please keep talking about it. That's the best way you can heal.
     
    #4 Chip, Nov 3, 2014
  5. AKTodd

    AKTodd
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    Of course you're not scum. The idea that we are supposed to all just love and adore our parents and put up with any amount of BS from them simply because they are our parents is infinitely worthless nonsense, generally pushed by selfish parents who are trying to control their children.

    Based on everything I've seen you post about your mom, and some of the rest of your family, they are not people that are good for you to be around. And by their behavior they have lost any right to expect any degree of respect from you. Quite the opposite in fact. I realize from your past posts that you have somewhat limited travel options just now, but my advice, once your life is on a more even keel and you have more options, is to get the hell away from them and probably away from where you live entirely. That may mean moving to another state or just to an urban area in your own. But it sounds like you can build a much better life for yourself without your mom in it.

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
    #5 AKTodd, Nov 3, 2014
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