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Rude rejection

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by anniesims, Nov 3, 2014.

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  1. anniesims

    anniesims
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    So I was on an online dating site and started messaging with this woman. She was sort of "cute" and butch which is usually my type,no huge attration though. Anyway she contacted me first and I liked what she said in her profile enough that I thought "sure, Ill chat see what happens" so it was fine for a little bit. She told me some things about herself that might be a turn off for some but I Ive always felt that if you are too judgemental about things youll miss out on meeting a lot of wonderful people.

    Anyway, she sent me a selfie and mentioned she was big bones and so she looked heavier than she is in the picture. I dont really care much if someone is overweight. So I send her a selfie. I had gotten up and showered not too long before and had my hair in a ponytail. She texts me back right away and said " oh that doesnt look like you on the site dating site, Im sorry I like femmes who take better care of themselves and do their eyebrows, hair and make up.:icon_sad: It just kinda stabbed me in the gut. Then she said she wasnt attracted to me after seeing that pic.Usually I do all those things before I go out but at home I dont always. So I usually have that stuff done when Pics are taken and of course I use what I think are the better ones for my profile. I dont care about her but The comment just sent my self esteem crashing and its not very good lately in the first place. Sorry just had to get that off my cheast.:icon_sad:
     
    #1 anniesims, Nov 3, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2014
  2. resu

    resu
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    I'm sorry this jerk made you feel bad. I'm pretty sure she knows she's overweight, and she's trying to overcompensate by criticizing other people's appearances. Just don't dwell on these negative people. They will get the person they deserve...
     
    #2 resu, Nov 3, 2014
  3. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Yeah screw her
     
    #3 Celatus, Nov 3, 2014
  4. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! I am sorry to read that this happened to you. I can imagine that it has affected you.(*hug*)

    But you know what? You are not the one who has lost anything. It is her. She lost a chance to get to know somebody. She revealed her character and the fact that she is somebody who judges people by their looks, rather than by their personality and qualities which they have to offer.

    In fact, you should be proud of yourself. You made yourself vulnerable. You have given her a chance, and went into it with, 'let's see what happens.'

    Try to stand in front of a mirror, and look into your eyes. While you do that, say out lout, "I look great," and smile. If you need to, do it a few times over the coming days. It might help you a bit to restore some of your self-esteem.
     
    #4 Mirko, Nov 3, 2014
  5. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    You're not alone! (*hug*)

    I often get deleted off IM apps as soon as people see what I look like. It breaks down what little self esteem I have even more, and makes me feel unattractive and just downright undesirable and just ugly :icon_sad:

    As a result, I no longer give out my details for those apps, because I know what will happen once they see my face. :icon_sad:

    One of my colleagues wanted to introduce me to a friend of his. This friend asked him for a pic of me, so he came to take a pic of me to send to this friend. Since then, he hasn't mentioned anything about me and this friend meeting, so I know the friend was probably put off when he saw what I look like. It hurts like a bitch :icon_sad:

    To get back to your situation: You know you usually take pride in your appearance, so don't let this one-time thing and her rude words get you down. If someone cannot accept EVERY aspect of YOU, including your "casual" days, then they're shallow, prejudiced and not worth your time. Not everyone can be glamorous ALL the time, and if she cannot accept that then you're better off without her. (*hug*)
     
    #5 Ruby Dragon, Nov 3, 2014
  6. Blossom85

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    I am so sorry to hear you have gone through that, and I do agree... It is her loss, not yours if she doesn't want to take the time to get to know you.. She is on of those people who will never find someone cause they have such high standards and expect so much more of people. I hope it doesn't effect you too much, I think just take a little time if you need to but ultimately just get back in the saddle so to speak and not let her comments bother you,. People like her I think pick at other people's faults so they don't need to focus on their own faults, you are a much better person then her cause you can see beyond physical appearance.
     
    #6 Blossom85, Nov 3, 2014
  7. ChloeKiss

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    What a BITCH. Gross btw.. not trying to hate on anyone but butches aren't my thing and I bet she wasn't very outstanding to look at either! What a cow! I'm so sorry that bitch said that to you. Don't take it to heart. She is NOT worth it. Her opinion is meaningless. What a superficial c*nt.
     
    #7 ChloeKiss, Nov 3, 2014
  8. ithinkiamgay

    ithinkiamgay
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    hey Anniesims :slight_smile:

    That was just "some" girl without manners.
    Don't ruin your peace due to that one comment.

    I dunno how you look, but i'm sure your cute, at least your thoughts are endearing.
    Stop pondering about what she said and get back on track (read on that dating site again!)


    P.S : dont get bitter and end up doing the same thing to another girl because you bore it.
     
    #8 ithinkiamgay, Nov 4, 2014
  9. anniesims

    anniesims
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    Thanks for the kind words everyone:slight_smile: Its hard esp. since I havet dated in over 20 years and Ive never dated women. I am the first to give people them same advice but its hard to shake off rejection. I dont care that she wasnt interested I hadnt put that much time into getting to know her. It was just feeling unattractive because of the words. I will pick myself up again though and keep going.
    Thanks again for listening.
     
    #9 anniesims, Nov 4, 2014
  10. Ouzo

    Ouzo Guest

    So she likes women who has make up on 24/7?? You just came out the shower :lol:

    Shes not worth you're time
     
    #10 Ouzo, Nov 4, 2014
  11. thekillingmoon

    thekillingmoon
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    Well, the good part is it didn't take long to figure out what kind of person she is. At least you didn't have to deal with her in person. People often disappoint and dating sites are full of shallowness.
     
    #11 thekillingmoon, Nov 4, 2014
  12. jay777

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    (*hug*) You're very thoughtful... you will find someone in time... (*hug*)(*hug*)

    Chloe, are you sometimes a bit short tempered ? Just meaning it in a good way, sometimes its really not worth to get upset... :slight_smile: (*hug*)
     
    #12 jay777, Nov 4, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2014
  13. anniesims

    anniesims
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    You guys are awesome, really I feel lots better :slight_smile: Thanks.
     
    #13 anniesims, Nov 4, 2014
  14. kessiej

    kessiej
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    This is a perfect example of perfection...that shit just aint real!!!

    I'm also into femmes (I'm a slim sorta tomboy) and love women who don't wear make-up or look 'made-up' all the time. I think natural beauty is the most attractive aspect of a woman, and you really shouldn't feel down through the opinion of somebody that's just not good enough for you!!!

    :slight_smile:))))) xxx
     
    #14 kessiej, Nov 4, 2014
  15. iiimee

    iiimee
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    God, this person is evil! How can you so cold-heartedly tell somebody they're not attactive?! You almost lead this person on, then crush them! These are the fake people I detest. There's no shame in wearing make-up, and there's no shame in not wearing it, even if you yourself wear a little, it's besides the point. Personality is important, and this woman has none.
     
    #15 iiimee, Nov 4, 2014
  16. Sepina

    Sepina
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    What a cow, judgmental son of a gun. You should like find her and like throw rotten tomatoes at her. I would
     
    #16 Sepina, Nov 4, 2014
  17. Robert

    Robert Guest

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    Why is everyone hating on her when all she did was reject the OP because she found her physically unattractive?
     
    #17 Robert, Nov 4, 2014
  18. anniesims

    anniesims
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    To me its fine she didn't find me attractive. It was just that she liked my profile pics and once I send a pic of me without make up she tells me she likes femmes that "take better care of themselves". Then said "after seeing that pic I'm honestly not attracted anymore". I just think there are less rude ways to be about it. Then she tells me a few things about herself that would turn some people off and then expects a girlfriend that is always looking perfect for her. Then to be unattracted after seeing a pic of someone without all their makeup and dressed up is shallow.
     
    #18 anniesims, Nov 4, 2014
  19. ithinkiamgay

    ithinkiamgay
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    Is there anyone who can resist the "girl just outta shower" look???!

    I for one cannot!!

    Annie - hope your back on the site !!
     
    #19 ithinkiamgay, Nov 4, 2014
  20. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, that means a lot :slight_smile:

    I'm with you on this. Even better if her hair is only towel-dried and a little bit messy (and her wrapped in a towel...) :love: Not that I've ever experienced it, but I have a good imagination, and dreams are free, right? :lol:
     
    #20 Ruby Dragon, Nov 4, 2014
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