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She claims she's straight....

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by UniqueButch89, Nov 3, 2014.

  1. UniqueButch89

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    I've known this woman for a year. I told her awhile back that I liked her. She thanked me for the compliment and said she's straight.

    After I stopped hanging out at her house with her room mate, she started inviting me over more but always with her room mates there. She isn't a touchy feely person and has never really dated a man. She started talking about how guys online are dumb and immature. She thinks femmine men are really hot. She never said femmine men, but the ones she finds very attractive look striking and could be a really intense butch.

    I catch her starring at me a lot and she always pays attention to what I have to say, even if other people are talking. I catch her starring at me in the corner or my eye a lot. She always wants to involve me in her group activites. The other day she put her feet up on my lap in a joking way and than said, this is actually really comfortable. Later that day I was about to sit back on the couch and she put a pillow behind me. She came to me for advise on an issue and was very pleased how I could help her. She doesn't seem jealous of the girl I am casually going out with and is there to give me advise. When she looks at me, she holds it for a little extra time. At least that's what it seems like. She laughs at a lot of my jokes and can be playful around me. Her best friend says she doesn't think she is gay. My best friend and her girlfriend live with her, they both pick up vibes from her too. She is introverted, 21, super mature for her age, doesn't drink, and claims she is straight. What do I do? It's intoxicating looking her in the eyes, since she does it so often.

    I am sure most of what I said points to her being straight. Something just tells me she isn't. Just the way she stares at me.. I can't explain it. I am probably looking way to deep into it and just trying to hold onto anything I can, to think she's gay. Her friends would totally accept her if she was gay, her family asked if she was gay last year and would accept her. I'm being ridiculous aren't I? There's nothing there...?
     
    #1 UniqueButch89, Nov 3, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2014
  2. stocking

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    She sounds like she's in denial .
     
  3. UniqueButch89

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    What makes you think from what I have said, that she might be in denial?
     
  4. stocking

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    Well she seems very attracted to you but is still saying she's straight to me that seems like denial .
     
  5. Melanie

    Melanie Guest

    I know someone like this ... shes much older than 21 though.

    I'm attracted to her, and part of me thinks that I just WISH she was gay, yet another part of me believes shes in denial. In my case I've just decided to let her come to her own conclusions... I believe shes confliced at this point, and I know for me coming to terms with being gay was (and still is) definitely a process.

    Just for example, when I first met her she would pretty consistently say shes definitely not gay and could never be with a woman and from that went to she could/would be with one, but still expresses an interest in men, though not very militantly.

    In what youve posted I dont get the impression that shes gay, I do get the impression that she likes and cares about you as a person. You probably know better than any of us could though. I would just give it time and see how things play out. You might be surprised
     
  6. Celatus

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    Yeah I know some guys who are TOTALLY in denial.
     
  7. candle

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    shes in denial
     
  8. Lez34

    Lez34 Guest

    It has happened several Times that straight friends who I've come out to have then started doing things that were come-ons. Last week a very straight friend started talking about how she was constantly staring because my lipstick was so goregous, and said she probably wouldn't be my type unless I was into older women... I was like WTH?! I think with gay friends they see a safe place to explore curiosities. But it makes things sort of weird sometimes. There is also at least one friend who claims to be straight but I'm pretty sure she's closeted. So I guess it's a case-by-case basis. Your friend sounds Like she's in denial. But pressing the issue won't make her come out to herself any faster.
     
  9. David21201

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    welcome to my old situation! lol... the joy of denial
    anyway if your curious just tell her what you told us... maybe itll work