Hi guys. So, my cute girl I have a date with next week called today. It's the first time we've talked on the phone... up until now, it's been email/text. It got a little awkward because we don't really know each other yet, and there's no body language for me to read... I told her I had to go because I had homework to do (not untrue, though I didn't get any done). Here's the thing. I'm excited about this date. It's my first date with a girl. She's super cute, and we have a ton in common. But, part of me is picking apart things she says. I can't shut it off! I'm trying, so hard. I think I'm afraid of this being real. If it's real, then I really am bi/gay and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. That being said, I haven't had feelings like this in years, and I'd rather take the hard road of upsetting my family than live my life alone and lonely. So, I risked looking creepy and went back on her profile (we met online - she'll be able to see I was on there) and read her interests again and looked at her pictures. Now I'm back to being excited, but I'm sure another bout of doubt will occur before our date next week. I think I'm also kind of wishing I had done the anonymous bar hook up thing first, before setting up a date with someone who has so much potential. If I hurt her in the process of figuring myself out, I would feel really awful about that. Does anyone else have experience with this, or just want to commiserate with me?
I think if you tell her sometime near the start of the date that you're feeling a bit nervous and not quite like yourself, so please excuse the crazies, you'll be fine. She will probably also be nervous, for the same or other reasons, and appreciate your honesty and self-deprecating ways. It might make you feel better, too. Just try to have fun. It's not a job interview, you know.
