So, I'm 18, in my first semester of college and gay. However, I'm closeted and did the worst thing; I fell in love with someone in a relationship. He's the first boy I've ever felt anything towards. We've known each other for a while from high school, and he recently came out with being in a relationship with another boy (about 4 months ago). We had been favoriting each other's tweets for a while and I decided to add him on Snapchat. We snapped all of the time and began texting and I felt like I could truly talk to him and tell him anything. He told me he was unhappy in his relationship and was going to break up with his boyfriend, and how much he wanted me. I was always there helping him and giving him advice on his relationship, trying to make him happy. I didn't necessarily want him to break up with him, but at the same time I did. Though I was happy to just call him a friend, even though I wanted more. This past weekend he was in town and it was kind of a shit show weekend with Halloween and tailgating for the game on Saturday. I got into bed Saturday night and received texts for me to come over because he had broken up with his boyfriend. So I did, and spent the night. We talked a lot after and talked about the future together. Then they got back together the next day and he told me he couldn't be happier. He doesn't talk to me now and removed me from Snapchat. I've never felt stupider or like a more horrible person for going over there that night. I'm also heartbroken and feel like I've gotten played. I know all my pain and misery was brought up myself by me. I never should've talked to him in the first place because now I still like him and feel horribly depressed. I have no clue what to do because I didn't want to also lose him as a friend. I've felt like death the past few days and have detached myself from all of my friends. I feel like I have no one to talk to on what I should do. Part of me feels like (and hopes) that he will come back to me when he realizes he's not happy in his relationship anymore... But another part of me feels like that will never happen and I feel hopeless and worthless. Sorry, that was a lot but I'm so confused on what to do because I feel like I will never like anyone else again and I didn't want to lose him as a friend. :icon_sad:
The best thing you can do is try to separate yourself from him. The type of manipulative behavior he has would make even a friendship difficult. It's terribly unfortunate that this had to happen to you your first relationship. Things will only get better.
Yeah, I don't text him anymore and he doesn't text me. Still see him on Twitter though. I'm finding it so hard to move on and not care though. Thank you for the help.
I think the best advice I could give is to realize that he really isn't worth the thought. I understand that you have feelings, but if a guy does stuff like this, you need to realize that he isn't worth the pain. You've got a future that involves guys who will treat you well, and won't pull stupid stuff like that. Keep your head up, I'm very sorry you're having a hard time with this (*hug*)
Trust me and others when I say this, but he really isn't worth your time. Even if he was just your friend, that's a really crappy thing to do. You were definitely played and used by this kid, and you're allowed to be upset about it. What you should not do is wait for him. He's not going to treat you the way that you deserve. You have to realize you deserve so much more than this, and go out there and find it. It might be rough at first, but taking a step back might help you realize just how much of a shitty thing that is.
I had a very similar situation, and got emotionally burned like you. You can never tell what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe he just wanted some extra attention. It's going to hurt for a while, but know that not all gay me are like that. It just sucks that the first time you truly put yourself your there that you got hurt. There are better men that would feel honored to have you for their boyfriend, focus on that.
The first thing to do is stop thinking of yourself as the horrible person who has masterminded his own downfall. Both of those things are not true at all. I'm sure it hurts a lot, but you actually did nothing wrong. Even though you developed feelings for the other guy, you didn't act on them or do anything to come between him and his boyfriend. It was he who wanted to break up, it was he who told you how unhappy he was, it was he who suggested getting together with you, it was he who invited you to come round that night and it was he who cut you off. What did you do? You offered comfort, conversation, support and advice. Now tell me who was/is the bad person. At the moment you need to give yourself a bit of time and permission to recover from the feelings of pain and loss and then begin to take steps forward. Please don't keep checking his tweets or other online activity as it will open up the wound all over again and depress you even more. It's good to share your feelings about what happened, but be careful about how you do it. Calling yourself stupid and horrible is self destructive - words like that keep you down, when the ultimate aim is to stand tall, move on and learn to love and trust again. It can be done, I promise you. Over the next week or two, while you are still hurting, you may reflect and look back - and that's okay if you need to, but you must eventually take control and look forward otherwise he retains all the power over you and the hurt will linger on. Many of us have been hurt like you, so keep talking, keep sharing and let us help you through this... and remember, it is not your fault.
Hey you're the GOOD guy, don't you forget that. You did a good thing and supported a friend which is something any friend should do. What he did to you can be best described as distasteful but you gotta move on. It hurts and the best thing you can do is to allow yourself the time and space for this difficult time to just pass. My best wishes to you.
You are NOT a horrible person for what happened. HE is. Someone who seems to be as manipulative as him isn't worth your time. I know it can be hard to move on after getting your heart broken but you must trust! Trust that you will find another. You WILL find another person who is worth your time and you will make you as happy as you can get. Cut off all possible connections you have with him. Try your BEST to not think about him. I know it can be really hard and a really crappy process, but it will be worth it in the end. Just keep telling yourself that you're worth more than him and that you're better than this. If he does come back to you, I really hope you try to see what he really is. The same thing shouldn't be repeated again and I suggest that you ask him to kindly see himself out of your life. It can be really really difficult, BUT it is worth it. I hope everything goes well and don't forget: It will get better.
Just put your hand on your chest and feel the beats of your heart. Still pumping? Well, then you're good to go. Yes, it may seem like you have a broken heart, but that just means you can feel emotions. Whoever can feel pain can feel love. They are like two sides of the same coin. You will find a guy who makes your heart swell with joy. I know it.
