Two years ago, during sophomore year, I had a crush on a TA. She was always nice and very very smart. Since then I've always thought of her as the nice and smart TA that I had during my sophomore year. I recently found out that she's bi and even more recently saw her on campus. Ever since then it's been very hard to think of her; thinking of her hurts and makes me feel broken. A few weeks ago I emailed her and asked if she wanted to get coffee sometime, but she never replied. Although I know that it may seem odd to her to get coffee with a former student, it was my way trying to contact her. Anyway, I want to get over this hurt because pursuing her sounds silly. And even if she never wanted to go out, it would be nice to have a female friend or acquaintance who's bi. Any advice? Thanks
Maybe you should actually try to speak to her in person rather than over e-mail. It might be a little awkward at first, but then you can see whether she still remembers who you are. That could be part of the reason she never replied; it is possible that she doesn't remember you all that well. Also, it's so much easier to carry on a conversation in person than it is in an e-mail, since things are actually real-time instead of delayed. If your goal is to get over the pain of her not replying, that might help you out a bit to know why and to actually speak to her again. Or I could be totally off-base here, which is entirely possible since I have very limited experience with this kind of stuff. But I wish you the best whether you choose to take this advice or ignore it. Feel free to message me if you want to chat.
From another angle, it's possible she didn't contact you because, as a TA, she's (in some way at least) an employee of the school, and dating a student is usually a huge no-no for employees/teachers of any kind in a school. I'd say that asking her out for coffee - which in most cases translates to a date of some kind, or maybe that's just me - probably came across as a sign to her not to respond, actually, lest the accusation eventually get hurled at her. It sounds, though, like the issue at the heart of this is that you feel a lack of friends - or at least of female bi friends. Have you ever tried meeting more people in other ways? Perhaps there's an LGBT club at your school, or a community group nearby?
Thank you for your views and opinions. I have tried to find LGBT groups on my campus and in my community, but without any luck. I had an earlier thread about the campus LGBT center (which is atrocious), about the fact that I've haven't made any LGBT friends or found any LGBT community. The loneliness, in romantic sense and in the community sense, has been very hard.
Hi there! You should try meetups. There are a lot of lgbt meetups that happen. I have to confess, I've remember goin to two such meetups and found all 40+ ladies and wasn't fun that way. But I continued goin, one of the occasions I saw girls in their 20's and 30's, which was what I wanted. If not anything, you get friends!
