I am so confused right now. I'm only asking because of my experience and I don't know if it was actual 'rape' or 'experimentation' or something. I repressed the memories until I was about 11 and that's when I started questioning everything. It went on for 3 years from when I was about 4 to 7. I thought it was the 'secret' game and everybody did this. She was around 3 years older than me and that's where the questions start: Does the age difference matter? Is it rape? (I remember saying no because her finger was hurting me but sometimes, I would 'instigate' it and ask her to 'play') When all of this came up, I started questioning my sexuality - if the memories had stayed blocked, would I have been bi curious or stayed 'straight'? Am I guilty for what I did after? (Lead on my cousin and tried to SEDUCE HIM - it worked. Kissed a whole bunch of boys including my neighbour and became the equivalent of a 7 year old slut. Yup. Even now my cousin wants me to kiss him etc?) She was experienced, she taught me all these sexual terms, told me to make weird noises, made me do all sorts of stuff and she orgasmed. I thought little girls don't do that? WHO TAUGHT HER ABOUT SEX? WAS SHE ABUSED? I just had to get this out, I'm only 14 but this has been on my mind for ages and I'm scared people will find out and blame me? (An 11 year old girl from our school got raped in the park walking home by a paedophile, she needed surgery and people were blaming her because she was 'messing around in the park' when she wasn't? An 11 year old girl. What the heck people? I've heard of victim blaming but that is disgusting.) So do you think it was 'rape' or not because it was a girl and it could be passed off as experimentation? Should I just ignore it as nothing to worry about? Is it nothing to worry about? So many questions :icon_sad::eusa_doh:
Rape is rape, doesn't matter the gender. If a boy did it to you, would it be rape? If yes, it counts.
It's very simple. Little kids experiment sexually quite often, and that usually isn't wrong even when It's between two kids of the opposite sex. But when one kid is older and takes advantage of the other- It's wrong. It's sexual abuse. Period.
If anybody, regardless of age or gender tried to do something sexual with you n you said no but they didn't listen...its rape. Even if you give in later n they convince you its a game....its still rape.
Did she even know what she was doing was wrong? Can that be rape? We were really young, should it matter as much as, say older people? It sounds a bit harsh but I can't wrap my head around it. When you say it's 'simple' it feels like you're reducing the weight of my problem even though RATIONALLY you aren't. Just defining rape is scratching the surface. OK, yes - maybe I was raped - but that isn't the mystery. Sorry for the rant, I just feel kind of misunderstood and I don't mean to insult anybody who gave me advice. Thanks though ---------- Post added 10th Nov 2014 at 01:00 AM ---------- It WAS the mystery, but now I need answers for the other problems, or at least theories or something.
I'm not trying to devalue what went on or put the blame on anyone, so I'm sorry if you got that out of that. However, children can very much be rapists. There was a story where a 9 year old boy raped a 6 year old girl (through actual penis in vagina contact) and even though he was young, was abused, and didn't really know what he was doing...it was still wrong. I'm not saying children who abuse should be tortured or burned at the stake or anything, I'm just saying that it still counts as rape and It's absolutely not your fault it happened. There are many times when grown men tell little kids that they'll 'play a game' and the kid 'consents' throughout the sex and even tries to get more sex from the adult, but It's all due to brainwashing and not knowing they're a true victim. That's what I think happened here. I'm sorry that happened to you though -hug-
I agree if girl on girl sexual assault is real than so is girl on girl rape. I was a victim of girl on girl sexual assault when i was 4 so i can relate with the creator of this thread
Thanks a lot, I can't express how this made me feel - like a fog's been lifted. Thank you MissMiri, Stocking and especially Fallingdown7, you've given me perspective. I owe you an apology, my mind wasn't working 'rationally', rather on emotions so anything I did to offend you wasn't intentional. Anyway, ~group hugs~ ~high fives Stocking and NatWheeled~ ~conforts MM~ ~gives extra hug to FD7~ you can all have my internet cookies
Hmm, its possible she was taught the "game" by somebody else so maybe she didn't know it was wrong...but that doesn't change that she raped you...but perhaps she's not entirely to blame...so onto your other questions...and I do apologize for ignoring them. Was she sexually abused? Possibly or simply exposed to sex by negligent parents..... ie saw some of mommy's porn n was told it was a game. But sexual abuse is quite probable. Are you now guilty for seducing other young kids including your cousin? Not unless you forced them into anything. Yes its a very young age to be doing that sort of thing, but you became sexually active at a very young age and didn't understand what you were doing. Does what happened affect your orientation? Not really, it can have some effect, in regards how you proccess things psychologically. But there are plenty rape victims who don't change orientation as a result. So no, you may have discovered your interest in women because of what happened but it was there all along. You just prolly wouldn't have figured it out til later on. Should you worry bout it? Well, it clearly has affected you in a pretty big way. It might be good to see a counselor about it. You don't have to name names, if you're not wanting to get the girl in trouble. A good counselor won't blame you, and neither would any sane person. However, those who don't understand sexual orientation may claim that your experience caused you to like girls. This is bull. Anyways, hopes this helps some. I'm by no means an expert and can't even begin to imagine what you went to.
With my cousins: I guess I only did that BECAUSE they were my cousins - because the girl is my cousin so... She gave me an incestuous fetish? I remember a different male cousin came over and he was sleeping on a mattress but I started thinking about him and then became so disgusted with myself that I couldn't sleep (or maybe that was because he farted on my bed? *shrugs*) I didn't touch anyone. I tried to, but backed away at the last second. Like the first cousin I was talking about, I led him on and we kissed - that was it. Once I suggested we 'got naked' but then I didn't know what to do after that (after all these years he REMEMBERS and BRINGS IT UP to blackmail me into kissing him again -_-) and I just left it at that. I've told a couple of friends about the girl but not the whole i-was-a-seven-year-old-professional-seducer thing. I stopped talking to the girl because I know my mum knew there was something going on so she stopped me going there. I think she thought that my UNCLE was doing it but it was my cousin but I think she figured it out in the end. She brought her up in conversation once, my heart stopped but I pretended I didn't remember anything even though afterward she gave me a long stare when I wasn't looking. She probably worked it out because she would find blood in my panties and I would tell her I was playing with my cousin whilst my uncle left the house and I guess she checked with everybody.
