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Quickly Going Through Stages of Coming Out and Accepting I'm Gay

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Justinian20, Nov 10, 2014.

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  1. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    When going through the stages of coming out is it possible to have like a 2 week gap between say the I'm gay stage and the I'm gay and I like it stage cause I seem to have done that impossibly fast but then I guess it's my accepting personality. I don't dwell on things like sexuality and I accept them a lot easier than others probably because I was an openly weird guy at school.
     
    #1 Justinian20, Nov 10, 2014
  2. PatrickUK

    PatrickUK
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    I personally don't know anyone who has gone through all stages that quickly as there is a lot to take in and accept, but that's not to dismiss it as impossible. Just be open to the idea that you may need to to re-visit one or two stages at some point in the future.
     
    #2 PatrickUK, Nov 10, 2014
  3. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! As PatrickUK mentioned, it might be worthwhile to remain open to possibly revisiting one or two things in the future. You might still harbour some internalized homophobia, and your instincts might still bring up a few second or deeper thoughts that might still come up to the surface.

    That said, if you feel comfortable with your sexuality, and are ready to let others know, I'd say go for it. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Mirko, Nov 10, 2014
  4. Notlad

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    That's very fast. I've been busy trying to accept it and be ready to come out since 8th grade when I first noticed a crush on a guy. But just cause it's taking me years doesn't mean it should take everyone else that long. Glad it's coming so easy for you!
     
    #4 Notlad, Nov 10, 2014
  5. One Man Army

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    It's possible to go through those stages quickly if you've been trying to repress your sexuality for so long, that when you finally accept it, it feels like such a relief that you just want to tell everyone! My process of coming out to myself was somewhat like that, but it's taken a long time to work through all the internalised homophobia that I'd kept locked up.

    So there might be things you'll need to work through in time, but it's good that you're now open about your sexuality. It's always a massive relief.
     
    #5 One Man Army, Nov 10, 2014
  6. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    I think my story is very much I repressed my sexuality for a very long time. So One Man Army I think you are correct in that it is a relief that I want to actually start telling more people, but I think I will have to revisit the previous stage at a point due to me going to tell more people I'm out.
     
    #6 Justinian20, Nov 10, 2014
  7. AKTodd

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    For me it took less than an hour of thinking about it to conclude I was gay and the "I like it' part happened at virtually the same time. For me, reaching that conclusion (as opposed to just thinking I was experimenting) was the act of accepting.

    So, while it is apparently common to go through some extended process over this, it isn't a natural law of the universe or something.

    Todd
     
    #7 AKTodd, Nov 10, 2014
  8. Justinian20

    Justinian20
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    Actually that's basically me in that though I did spend about 2 years questioning it as soon as I accepted I was gay, it was like the bubble burst and I said to myself, if you're gay, there ain't no point in thinking otherwise and you might as well like it cause it's who you are.

    Ergo I am a guy who accepts myself a lot more than people. The instant I accept something it means I'll like it and I enjoy being able to finally express who I really am. I also did have a long period where I did repress my feelings and kept all of those feelings to myself. From Grade 10 to my current 20 yr old self, so about 5 years of repressed feelings.
     
    #8 Justinian20, Nov 10, 2014
  9. Burnedcloset

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    Well for me for me it took about a month of accepting I'm gay then I made a account here and now it's been 2 weeks and I'm not exactly at the "I like it" phase
     
    #9 Burnedcloset, Nov 10, 2014
  10. OnTheHighway

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    Its been about two years since I came out to myself. For the entire first year or so, I kept going back and forth and questioning if my judgment was correct.

    Even today, while I am completely comfortable with having both come out to myself and to everyone around me, I still have other doubts that sometimes come into play. Family, friendships, and more fundamentally, who am I as a gay man as compared to when I was in the closet. The more I progress, the less the doubts occur.
     
    #10 OnTheHighway, Nov 11, 2014
  11. resu

    resu
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    You can't really come out to others until you have truly come out to yourself. Also, it's much more healthy to come out to others than to try to live in the shadows, paranoid. It's funny because all that fear starts to evaporate as you hear more and more people being supportive. It feels liberating. :slight_smile:
     
    #11 resu, Nov 11, 2014
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