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a friend got raped... any advice on how to support her?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by oohkeagiechuu, Nov 13, 2014.

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  1. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    Alrighty,
    well a friend of mine was raped a few months ago, and she just told me and a few others about it today. I could tell she was upset before, and I told her I was there if she ever needed help. but she's told me that she had suicidal thoughts, and was really mad at herself which worries me, obviously. I've never dealt with something like this (well for someone else feeling this way at least) and I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to help her out. we're going to tell our school's guidance counselor tomorow, and hopefully she will talk to her parents. I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can as a friend to help her through this difficult time. thanks for any input :slight_smile:
    loads of love and hugs for anyone who reads this,
    keagie
     
    #1 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 13, 2014
  2. NatWheeled

    NatWheeled
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    Sounds like you're doing good so far, the fact that you're going with her to tell the counselor is huge. Maybe do a Lil net research on the subject??? But careful bout making assumptions based on what you read, everyone handles things different. Try not to treat her too different. Be sensitive to her situation but not overly so. Bottom line, just be there for her.
     
    #2 NatWheeled, Nov 13, 2014
  3. MissMiri

    MissMiri
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    exactly and never give up on her ok?
     
    #3 MissMiri, Nov 13, 2014
  4. shinji

    shinji Guest

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    Just be there, when she needs to vent. It's the best thing you could do. Also, don't go overboard with advices and personal opinions on the matter.
     
    #4 shinji, Nov 13, 2014
  5. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    thanks for all the advice, I don't see her as any different than before the told me, and all I want is for her to feel better and let go of what happened to move on in her life and be happy. I'll update this with what ends up happening tomorow if anyone is interested :slight_smile:
     
    #5 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 13, 2014
  6. NatWheeled

    NatWheeled
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    Yes please! If she's Ok with it. I've never been in your situation nor have I been raped....but I've seen this phrase used often...she's a survivor, not a victim.
     
    #6 NatWheeled, Nov 13, 2014
  7. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    that's really perfect, thank you:wink:
     
    #7 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 13, 2014
  8. TossAWatermelon

    TossAWatermelon
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    Remember to tell her she has nothing to be mad at herself about. If it is "but I could have fought back harder" well it's on the rapist!
     
    #8 TossAWatermelon, Nov 13, 2014
  9. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    thanks once again guys! we told the counselor today, and although my buddie was very upset she managed to get it out, and I was super proud of her afterwards:slight_smile: the counselor is going to tell her parents, and the police are going to open up an investigation!! I could tell she felt so much relief getting it out, and now she's one step closer to getting over it. thanks to everyone who gave me advice and stuff, it really helped. luv you all :grin:
     
    #9 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 14, 2014
  10. Images and Words

    Images and Words
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    It sounds like you're doing a great job. Although I can't offer any advice on this, I just wanted to say that. (*hug*) good luck to yo and your friend :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Images and Words, Nov 14, 2014
  11. anja26

    anja26
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    Be there for her, getting her life together after such a horrible thing is not gona be easy. It's important that she knows she is not alone and that it's not her fault. Glad to hear she is talking to someone about it, having supportive friends in times like this is very important.
     
    #11 anja26, Nov 15, 2014
  12. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    thank you all for the sweet, positive messages:slight_smile: it makes me so happy to know that I'm doing something kinda right, and maybe somehow she'll get through it all. all I know is that I'll be tagging along the whole way :3
     
    #12 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 15, 2014
  13. photoguy93

    photoguy93
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    What you're doing is great - you need to be there for her! However, always remember to let her process this, too. I'm not at all saying that you need to back away from her - just sit with her, talk with her like you normally would, and let her come to you with what she's thinking.
     
    #13 photoguy93, Nov 15, 2014
  14. oohkeagiechuu

    oohkeagiechuu Guest

    I'll keep that in mind:slight_smile: she actually just texted me saying how thankfull she was for "all my help" haha I don't think I did much, but it made me feel really great, and I wouldn't have been any help if it wasnt for people like you giving me advice here, so thanks:slight_smile:
     
    #14 oohkeagiechuu, Nov 15, 2014
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