Online Dating

Okay, looking for tips for a date arranged online. She is driving to me, so I figured I would pay (it's a 2+ hour drive) for dinner. We talk and text every day, pretty much all day. We've really hit it off. That being said, we're both fairly reserved. How do you go about greetings? Hand shakes or hugs? Any other tips? thanks!

 

Thanks, guys! I'm a little intimidated but really excited!

 

We had a great time! I just greeted her to start, but when she left I gave her a hug. I think it's the start of something

 

Sure!

She came to my house (figured that was best since she was driving so far. We're both in the military, so I was able to confirm she wasn't psychotic, at least on paper, beforehand). I was still getting ready when she called and said she had a flat... Then called back 5 min later saying, "gotcha! I'm outside." So, minimal makeup the first date, but oh well.

We sat in the kitchen and talked for about an hour, just getting to know each other more. Then I suggested we go to dinner. We went to a cool local brewery, but the line was out the door. We decided to go downtown. Unfortunately, the entire area was shut down for a Christmas lighting ceremony. She suggested we just get a frozen pizza and watch a movie, so we went to the grocery store then back to the house.

While we're sitting on the couch watching the movie, she says, "you're really far away." She picks my arm up and lays down under it, her head on my lap. A few minutes later, she intertwined her fingers through mine and I absolutely melted. We watched one movie and most of another before she said she needed to leave and go to the hotel (she'd fallen asleep on my lap).

When she left, I gave her a hug and asked her to text me when she got to hotel. She left and called 10 minutes later to tell me she wanted to kiss me, but that it was like that Lady Antebellum song where she wanted to kiss me but didn't want to go too far. So cute!

There's a plot twist and it gets a lot more romantic, but I can't write anymore on my phone so I'll have to leave you hanging until I get back tonight and have a computer to type on lol.

 

Okay, so the complicated part:

When we started talking about meeting up, she told me she was talking to other women. Later on, she said something about one of them being fairly close to me. When she subsequently asked if it would bother me if she met another girl the same weekend as when she met me, I told her it was fine since she was driving so far. After she left my house last weekend, and called about wanting to kiss me, she started texting me when she got to her hotel that she made it...then that she needed to tell me something. She called me and told me that she was meeting the other girl tonight. This, I was not okay with. I told her I was disappointed, that I didn't want to do a back and forth kind of thing. She suddenly had to go, and texted a minute later telling me that the other girl had come in. She kept messaging me, apologizing, and I told her that we could talk about it later; that if i were the other girl, I wouldn't want her texting someone else while she was with me. Mind you, her phone was going off all night when she was with me, and she hardly glanced at it. I said goodnight and went to bed. Not to sleep, but to bed. I barely slept. I was really upset; I liked this girl, but I felt betrayed. Maybe a little taken advantage of.

The next morning, she texts me and asks me how I slept. I tell her not well, to which she responds that she didn't either. She was up all night thinking about me, and she felt awful. Again, I reiterate that I won't do a back and forth situation. She starts telling me about their plans for the day ("it's just lunch. then bowling. we're not really doing anything."). She's obviously feeling really guilty, but I'm still torn. I say goodbye and go to work.

Later on, she starts messaging me on social media while I'm at work. She's telling me how she's out with this girl, but that it's unfortunate. "Unfortunate?" "Because I wish you were the one here with me..." The girl has a way with words. She says she feels bad, because she just wants to see me... to which I again point out that she's probably making her feel worse by messaging me when they are out together, and I say goodbye.

I get another message from her shortly asking if she can come back. I think about it for a while, and she tells me that she just wants to come back and cuddle with me. Nothing more. We can just chill and watch movies, she just wants to see me. If it's okay, she'll just crash at my place. Eventually, I cave and let her come back. When she gets there, we resume our positions on the couch with her head on my lap and fingers intertwined, and talk over the TV for a couple hours. When I go to bed, she follows me. My self-respect suffered, but I allowed her to sleep in my bed. This is not me at all, but I really felt a connection to her and we both agreed we would stay dressed and just lay next to each other. She asks if she can cuddle up to me, which I allow. When she does, I can feel her shaking. As she wraps her arm around me, I can feel her heart booming. What an amazing feeling to have that affect on someone. We lay in bed for the next 12 hours. She calls in sick to work around 0600, and comes back to bed. We bonded like I've never bonded with someone before. She tells me that she wants it to just be her and I, no one else. Okay, I can deal with that . She doesn't leave until around 1100 the following day. She tells me that the other girl was messaging her, pretty angry. Apparently, the other girl had called into work to hang out with my girl, who after getting the go-ahead from me to come back, essentially stood up and said "sorry, I have to go" and just walked out. I feel sorry for the other girl, but that reaction made me feel better about the whole situation.

So yeah, it's just the two of us now. We're getting to know each other, but we have a connection I've never felt before. The distance thing kind of sucks; we're lucky to see each other weekly. Both of us work and go to school full-time, but we're about to hit the end of the semester so we have a lot of plans coming up. I'm going on temporary assignment to another state after the first of the year, and she's already asked if she can come visit me. I was a little worried with the start we had, but I actually feel better about us being together now. She has told the other women she was talking to that she won't be meeting with them and we've disabled our dating profiles. I think since we started with a trial, and we both chose each other, that we actually have a pretty strong base because of it. Time will tell, I guess, but being "chosen" by someone, against the competition, feels pretty great