Bumping into guy at gym who flaked out on meeting (need advice)

if you are interested in meeting him socially … could you use the app to just say "Hi.. this is a bit awkward but I think I may have seen you at my gym , but I wasn't sure if it was you ? blah blah, do you want to meet up for a coffee?.."

if not, you can just continue ignoring him when you see him in the gym and I expect he will fade away if you know what I mean

 

At this stage, I personally would have done the same as you and let it go. You've made your effort (twice, in fact) to make something happen and he didn't have the decency to at least tell you it wasn't going to happen. If any progress is to be made I personally believe it should be his turn to make a move.

With that said, if you really feel strongly that you'd like at least friendship with this particular guy, I'd do as bingo suggested and perhaps message him on the app to see if he'd like to get a coffee or something after gym. Though you may be due an explanation of unanswered messages before that.

Ultimately, if it's just friendship you're after, there are more gay guys to be friends with - you may decide it's time to give someone else the opportunity or perhaps third time lucky for this guy at the gym.

 

In situations like this I'm surly at best. I think I would have played exactly like you. You've tried to reach out to this guy and he brushed you off. It isn't even like he doesn't know what you look like because you said you exchanged pictures.

The balls in his court. If he want's to pretend like he doesn't know you maybe he is not all the way out of the closet and afraid to engage in conversation. Either way, its clear that you had your feelings hurt so I say ignore him. But again, I'm not that nice...

 

Ignore. The guy stood you up, so what's the point trying to say hi to him if he's not going to make a move?

 

Small town... That kind of jumped out at me.

I guess he is a little more nervious about things than you and chickened out. It might be for various reasons... He might not be out and still living in the closet, terrified that people might find out. He might be shy... It's easy to chat online with the anonymity that the Internet offers, but it's a totally different ball game making the jump to real life.

My gut feeling is to cut the guy some slack, break the ice and say hi. You've got nothing to loose and everything to gain. Forget about the times he chickened out in meeting you in person, that is in the past, move on and work with the present.

Just my two pennies worth.

 

I think you are a very patient and forgiving person. But in being so, you set yourself up to be hurt. I know your options are limited, but do you want to move forward with a friendship with someone that is so inconsiderate?

If you still want to take the risk, (and given his track record there is a lot of risk he won't show) I would text him an hour or two before the date and ask him if it's still on.

If he flakes a third time, write him off.

 

This guy sounds flakey. I don't think there's any harm in meeting him in public for dinner, but I'd just encourage you to keep your guard up and approach the whole thing with caution from an emotional perspective. I don't think you should feel obligated to bring up the previous non-response at this point unless it just comes up naturally in conversation.

As far as being nervous about a date I'm not sure what to say, just try to relax and be yourself, as cliche as that sounds.