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I'm kind of afraid to go to work now. What should I do?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by littlemonster11, Nov 17, 2014.

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  1. littlemonster11

    littlemonster11
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    So, as the title states, I'm pretty much afraid to go to work now. The reason is because of a MUCH older co-worker who I'm 100% sure likes me.

    Before feeling weird about the situation I'm about to explain below, I viewed him as someone nice to talk to because he always had funny stories and it helped to pass the time at work. I'm the type of person who will talk to anybody, regardless of who you are. I'm a nice/friendly person to everybody at work (and in general), so there is no way I lead him on.

    He sent me a message on Facebook. The thing that scares me is that he found my Facebook, and I assumed he didn't know my last name. So, now I'm guessing he REALLY went out of his way to find it out, obviously. This is the message:

    Maybe I'm coming off as a jerk for freaking out, but I don't ignore my gut feeling, because it's what's kept me safe in the past. And when I read the message, I had that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

    So, here are my questions:

    1.) What do y'all think I should do?
    2.) Should I tell someone? If so, who should I tell?
    3.) Am I overreacting?

    ...and more importantly:

    4.) What should I do when I see him again at work? He knows I saw the message now due to the (damn) settings on FB. Like, do I tell him I'm attracted to girls (I'm not out by the way) to get him off my back? Technically, I'm not lying.

    Any advice is appreciated!
     
    #1 littlemonster11, Nov 17, 2014
  2. Melanie

    Melanie Guest

    I can respond to 3. by saying you are not overreacting. Hes basically hitting on you on Facebook because it takes the pressure off of him to do it in person.... hes pretty much putting it on you to respond. I'm assuming hes a coworker?

    Not knowing what you do and not being sure that it would make a difference if I did, I would just tell him "hey thanks for the compliment that you left for me on Facebook" and walk away or get busy with something... you need to acknowledge but make it clear you dont want to engage/youre not impressed. Be your same friendly self, but maybe a little bit more "short" without being rude.

    I would save the explanations for if he doesnt seem to get the hint.
     
    #2 Melanie, Nov 17, 2014
  3. Really

    Really
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    From here, it doesn't look too creepy but only you can tell that because you know him. You could simply thank him for the nice post and say that you're just getting to know someone else now but you appreciate the compliment.
    If he persists then I think you'll need to ask him, politely and with a witness, to cease with his advances and then report him if he doesn't.
     
    #3 Really, Nov 17, 2014
  4. littlemonster11

    littlemonster11
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    Yeah, he's a coworker. I think I can manage doing that, if he brings it up. It might be the best thing to do.


    Hmm, I could tell him that, yeah, since I actually am talking to someone.


    =====


    I already told one of my friends from work about the situation, and he agreed to come in and interrupt if he happens to start talking to me.
     
    #4 littlemonster11, Nov 19, 2014
  5. Celatus

    Celatus
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    Oh dear looks like you have an awkward desparate man on you hands. Tell him politely you aren't interested and if he doesn't get the message tell him not so politely :slight_smile:
     
    #5 Celatus, Nov 21, 2014
  6. I am Kakashi

    I am Kakashi
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    Just say thank you for the compliment, and leave it at that. Hopefully he will take the hint. If not, then just say "You are nice, but I'm not interested in you in that way. I hope we can still be friends."
     
    #6 I am Kakashi, Nov 22, 2014
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