Recently my girlfriend's life took a turn for the worse. Her parents (though already divorced) have been fighting. She's told me it's worse when I'm not around. She often comes to stay with me when this goes on or when her dad starts drinking. Anyway I recently noticed that she has began cutting again. Typically she would have told but this time she didn't. She's been staying here at my place every other night or so and she always cries herself to sleep... despite me being right next to her.... Any ideas on how to approach her about her cutting? How should I help her? Thanks
Don't allow her to get distracted enough so she starts thinking about the bad stuff. Carving, in my own opinion is caused by one of two situations. Either after a huge argument, wanting to take your frustration out and find relief, or in situations where you are left alone, with your thoughts for far too long. Decide on something that you two can do together, and just... do it. As long as she has something better to think about, she won't resort to carving. If she does though, it might be in an attempt to draw sympathy out of you, so be sure to provide that without having been "asked" in advance. Just be there for her.
First of all tell her that you are there for her, if you haven't already. Don't try and pressure her into any comitment that's related to cutting, it just makes it worse and she'll be even more sad because if she cuts again she's going to feel like she's failing you. That brings me to the next thing you can do, tell her that she's not letting you down or anything by cutting and that you understand why she's doing it and that you'll be there for her no matter what. Just shower her with love in general and make her feel like she's better than what she believes she is. And last but not the least, help her find other ways to cope with the feelings she's having. I hope it helps and that your girlfriend will get through this obstacle in her life!
*im have no clue how to edit... So i talked to her today via Facetime. (She has Strep throat.) I half brought it up by saying "No matter what you do or what happens I love you" Did I handle this OK?
I think just let her know you are there for her if she wants to talk or needs a shoulder to cry on and let her lean on you. I think you said the right thing by saying no matter what, you love her.. She needs your support more then anything right now, and even if she isn't asking or going to you for help, just knowing you are there might and will listen might make her feel just a tiny bit better.
