I don't know when it started but I know it is happening at this very moment. I'm not living fully in this reality. I'm not fully able to be aware of what I am doing, saying, thinking. It is as if sth different would control me. I'm just inside my head playing observer. And though, I'm writing this. Am I? But if not me, who or what is it? I'm asking this myself daily. I'm afraid of losing myself, losing reality. Forgetting what was and what is. My mind is playing tricks on me. I forget simple things, like where did I put my keys. I've never forgotten anything like this. But also, I can't take part in a real conversation. I can't pay attention while others are talking, I just drift away for a moment and miss a part of it. I also can't simply talk about what is going on in my head or what I am feeling. That makes verbal communication difficult. But I can write. Sometimes I find the right words. I'm in therapy currently. My therapist knows but this therapy I'm currently taking part hasn't helped me any remarkably so far. So I'm asking here, long story but short meaning, what can I possibly do to not lose myself or reality? I'm thankful for every advice.
Sometimes there is no other feeling like being in a room full of people and still feeling entirely alone. It's important to talk about how you feel instead of keeping it bottled inside. By doing this, you have a grip on reality.
You might: think about a healthy diet, possibly more vegetarian, and cutting on soft drinks with high sugar content, instead preferring tea, for example ( not black tea, and I'd go with organic...), taking a short walk, or taking a few breaths a few times a day on fresh air... or making a few exercises, a few situps etc... go swimming... daydreaming a bit... not excessively but so that you might get a view of what you would like... sleep enough... try to concentrate a bit if you think its necessary for a while, otherwise just relaxing... knowing in the end, nothing will happen and you will be ok.... (*hug*)
@LutheranGuy, Yes i understand, but simply talking about how i feel isn't that easy. I don't really know why but i can't. I can't spit out what i am feeling. Ok most of the time i don't know. Just a huge mess. I wished i could. One of my biggest wishes is being able to talk and express myself. Goddammit. I try, i really try. But no, can't be. Thank you anyways @jay777, good advices really. But actually it's not very different of what i am doing every day. Ok, maybe i should drink a bit less Coke but it's good for my blood pressure what is crappy. It doesnt matter what i am doing. It feels unreal. No matter how tired or awake i am. Thank you too
This might sound peculiar but I have heard this from others recently, too. So you are not alone. As said, you might try to concentrate a bit if you think its necessary for a while, otherwise just relaxing... knowing in the end, everything will be ok....
