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Anyone with Depression?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by kumawool, Nov 22, 2014.

  1. kumawool

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    TLDR at end.

    So I'm considering making an appointment with the counselor at my school. Mental health is covered in my school fees, and a drug plan, so not too concerned with paying for anything.

    For anyone who has been diagnosed with depression, what kind of treatment did you have? Did it work? Does this sound like you at all?

    Lately I feel like - well, I feel like nothing to be completely honest. I never feel happy or sad, it's just a constant monotone of "Oh, this again". That's not normal for me. I'm typically a happy, upbeat person, and I expected this dull feeling to go away, but it's been present for months now, and I'm identifying it as a problem. Especially since it doesn't correlate to anything that's happened recently.

    Basically, I feel like there's no point to anything, and like why should I bother, and everyone dies, and nothing matters, and so on and so forth. It's gotten to the point where I need melatonin to induce sleepiness, or I stay awake thinking about this until 3-5am each day. I've always felt this way to a certain extent, but during my clinicals, and caring for people in palliative care, it's frankly something that's almost become obsessive. In addition, I'll find myself going to do a household task, or homework, and an hour will pass with me just standing there, thinking about how no good people exist (I don't believe this is true! But the "feeling" is there, independently of my rational thoughts), that everyone is dying soon, that everything is pointless - and suddenly I'll see an hour has passed, and it'll just be like, five more minutes, I've got to think this over.

    But the issue never goes away.

    It's not the work I do in clinical that's the problem here. These feelings existed before then, they're just becoming much more pervasive now, and I want to do something about them before they start affecting my life. I can function where I'm at now, but if they're worsen, they will become a serious issue. Plus, I fear more than anything that I will hurt my boyfriend in some way with all these problems, and he's probably the actual picture of a perfect boyfriend, so I want to avoid that if possible.

    I'm wondering what the counsellor is likely to say when I tell her this, likely in even more detail? I don't want to be medicated, and if I am, at least not for the rest of my life --- is that likely?

    TL;DR - kind of worried about my mental health, wondering what people's experiences with depression are like, and what their treatment was/is like.

    Thank you to everyone that responds (*hug*)
     
  2. idefygravity

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    I was depressed for about a year.
    It started off with the dull feeling, but over the course of about half a year it really, really started to increase. I found myself crying in my Chemistry classroom when doing labs and yeah- it wasn't good.
    All I can say is to definitely make that appointment.
    It's really hard to be able to give a definite answer as to whether/how long you would have to be on medication. It's likely you wouldn't have to at all. I wasn't. I just ended up having to talk to someone about my issues and stresses.

    If you do end up going on medication, it likely won't be for the rest of your life. Many of my friends who were depressed were slowly weaned off of the meds and were completely better.

    Back when I was depressed, I always used to think, "If anything mattered, someone would say something. They would tell someone what's happening to me."
    I think that made it worse. I was just shy of attempting to commit suicide.

    I'm not saying that your depression will get to that point, I don't know if it has. I just think you should at the very least talk to someone about it.

    If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to talk to me! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    I was hospitalized for depression about 15 years ago. the reason it got bad enough to be hospitalized was because I didn't get help when I was where you're at right now, kumawool. I was ashamed to be depressed, and thought that I could just muscle through it but it just kept gradually getting worse. i guess that would been one thing to be thinking about. is it worse today than a week ago? was it worse a week ago than a month ago? because the problem is that when we just let it keep getting worse, we get to the point where we can no longer see any options, and can't see any point in ever seeking help. that is the dangerous point, because when the options start narrowing down, one option that screams the loudest is often suicide. and that's how I got my time in-patient in a psych hospital. You lose nothing by going in for counseling. sometimes it just takes some talk therapy, or group work. and like idefygravity said, if you do need meds, it would probably be a temporary deal. but they don't give out meds for the heck of it. if you tell them that you don't want meds unless really necessary, they may work harder on the other alternatives. One thing for sure is that anyone who is even thinking about suicide needs to get help right away. it doesn't sound like you're at that point, but the problem is that once we get to that point, we don't remember how to get help.
     
  4. medulhed

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    I was medically retired from the Army for major depression. I had it long before I enlisted but uncombat related events in The Army made it worse. But I've been depressed my whole life.
    I know exactly how you feel. I think about suicide everyday. It's tough. Medication might be what you need. It's not as bad as you might think. I haven't found one that works for me yet. But I'm still looking. I've never been on med that turned me into a zombie. Honestly, I found they just don't help me. I'm sorry I'm not trying to scare you. What hasn't worked for me might very well work for you! But you have to try.
    The last thing I want to do is go to therapy. I feel like forcing myself to tell someone who might know the text book definition of depresssion but never experienced it, why I'm sad kind of silly. I've found the best thing is to talk to people who are suffering too. Sometimes we can do better by supporting each other. Right? Look at what site we're on. There's bound to be someone here who knows just how you feel.
    And it also helps to find a healthy "drug". Not talking abouts meds, or alcohol or drugs. But hobbies. Mine is music. I listen, research and play music. If I get tired of that I do gunsmithing projects (I am not dangerous). Or both. I just do something that I genuinely enjoy.
    also, I have my son. As long as hes in my life, CANT die. Find someone who you love just so much that you can't lose them.
    But above all, keep trying. It will be worth it. I promise.
     
  5. Wildside

    Wildside Guest

    depression is a medical condition. I love my kids more that life itself, and yet when I got into a severe clinical depression, I couldn't see that. I know it's different for everyone; but for me personally, after that experience, I would not more defer treatment for depression in the early stages than I would for cancer in the early stages. when everything else that made life worth living leaves you numb, it's a good idea to get some help.
     
  6. Ditz

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    Hi

    You're defnitley doing the right thing asking for help, that's the first step in getting better. What you've described yourself going trough feelings wise sounds almost exactly like the same emotions I experienced when I was suffering from depression.

    The good news is that it is treatable and that you will get trough this and become your old self again... It will however take a little effort and work from your side.

    The way it was explained to me by my doctor: There is a stress factor that causes a chemical imbalance in your brain which results in your brain's neuro receptors misfiring. Medication rebalances the chemicals lifting you out of your depression.

    While the Meds help short term, it needs to be combined with therapy to find out and deal with what is causing the stress factor. It could be anything... A traumatic event in your childhood, stress dealing with your sexuality, parents going trough a divorce, loosing a friend etc etc. Point is, the Meds doesn't deal with the cause, therapy does and that is why therapy needs to be a part of your recovery plan.

    Hope you get better soon, you've made the right choice to go see a counsellor!
     
    #6 Ditz, Nov 22, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2014
  7. seeking

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    I say seek help if these emotions are effecting you.

    My depression started in 3rd grade, so about 13 years ago. When it first started, i just didn't care.. I saw no worth in anything. I obviously had chronic depression. Idk if it started because i was affected by 911, i was there during a black out, also my grandma died and my uncle just abandoned me. Also dealt with heavy racism. Then i started to develop boobs in 3rd grade before anyone else. So i was very ashamed of my boobs. Anyway, i would say you sound to be in the beginning stage of depression.

    I didn't get suicidal until 7th grade. I always thought about death. I still do, i think about me getting in bad car accidents, stabbing the inner part of my elbow, having seizures and dying, etc.

    I have an anxiety disorder, a host of them. So my depression might just be tiggered by the anxieties i have.

    Some people need to stay on meds for a long time and sometime the rest of their life.
    I don't know your age, you seem to be between 20-26 years of age, i guess more like 22/23.

    Usually people that end up needing meds for the rest of their life are chronic depression. In my group therapy chronic depression started really young and became a issue around age 20. You don't sound like someone with chronic depression, but i am not a psychiatrist. You'll know if you will need meds for the rest of your life when you get into therapy. I know i will need to be on it all my life or at least need prn.

    SSRI are usually treated for depression, i didn't react well to those meds. Sometimes if a SSRI doesn't reach all the symptoms they will add an antipsychotic or anti-seizure med to the mix. But, for most people a SSRI is good enough.

    But, do seek counseling for all you know it is just situational. Is there anything different in your life since these thoughts and feelings came around?

    Hope i helped a little with my advice/insight.
     
    #7 seeking, Nov 23, 2014
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2014
  8. xxlovebuggxx

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    I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. The treatment I have gone through is therapy (and lots of it). IOP, and taking antidepressants. They don't completely take away my depression, they just dim it down a bit.
     
  9. Alive

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    Making an appointment with your counselor is a great idea. What you're feeling sounds a lot like the early stages of my depression. It is better to get help and support sooner rather than later.

    I also came and got help from a counselor and it was really helpful. That was just this past october, but I was much worse by then because I had gotten to a point of self harm and suicidal ideations. I was then sent to a therapist, who I saw twice weekely, and a doctor to give me a low dose of an SSRI which I just started last week. I'm also currently in an IOP and my teachers are flexible with deadlines because my counselor has reached out to them about the situation.

    So it is a great idea for you to reach out for help before it escalates any more. Meds are only needed sometimes and usually not lifelong. Since it is a medical condition, if it is suggested that you take medicine, you should.

    Best of luck to you :slight_smile: