To be comepletely honest. I start thinking about what gender I really liked. Part of me thinks that the only reason I like women is because I grew up in a straight community, and family. I know for a fact that I like other guys, but am I bi or gay?
Hi there, and welcome to Empty Closets. It's pretty hard for anyone to tell you with certainty as to whether you are bi or gay. Only you are able to understand your feelings and attractions, and know what it means to you. You have one or two clues already. What I would suggest is that you continue exploring your feelings and attractions, without trying to attach a label on them at this point. If you feel attracted to someone, take a note of it, and try to explore it further. Over time, you will gain a better understanding of what your sexual orientation is.
I know exactly what you're talking about... Being somewhere in the middle can be confusing as hell. Don't try to slap a label on yourself, you don't have to! In my personal journey I pretty much tried to tell myself that I was really gay and just in denial about my sexuality. But, fundamentally I was and still am different from my gay friends. Guys turn me on... but so do girls... Where my straight friends are horrified by the thought of making out with a guy, and where my gay friends are horrified about making out with a girl, I actually don't mind either way and if I'm into someone I enjoy the experience just as much irrespective of whether the person is a guy or girl... I think if I was truly 100% gay I wouldn't want to make out with a girl at all. Being bi comes with a set of misconceptions from the general public. People think that you can't be monogamous, that you can't make up your mind and that you can't be trusted... Often people like to say that you're really gay but just in denial about your sexuality. None of the above is true for me, I am monogamous, know exactly what I want, am trustworthy and know for sure that I am bi. You have a set of your own values, stick with them and be yourself, don't try to conform to something that others want you to be! In time you will figure out what you like and whether you are straight, bi or gay... Anyone of them is fine and ok!
