Hi guys, my boyfriend has been having a very difficult time at the momment with a few things, getting over a rape that happened a couple of years ago, and now recently he's been having trouble with us having sex, he doesn't feel it's that good anymore, he enjoys it during but doesn't feel good about it afterwards, like it's incomplete but i don't really want to focus on that here, bassically with those 2 things, he also has a whole host of other problems in his life, his mum needs practically all his money, his dad suffers with PTSD and being gay maes things a tad more complicated. thing is, with all this, it circles his head and he's changed from who he was when we started going out, we can't have fun chatty conversations, he'll usually come on mic sad or angry about the tiniest thing, he shouts at everyone in his house (which i hear on mic) and sometimes he doesn't even know it and then yells at me for doing something fairly normal and yells even more when i yell back because he's been angry the whole day. point is, last couple of days we've been talking more and more baout me leaving him, im not particularly happy when we talk over skype or text, but i really love him and he has literally noone else to talk to about any of this. he just forgets he needs to make an effort to keep me and although it's not his fault, I kind of think love is something every person has in them and doesn't need to be reminded to show affection to there partner, but with noone else, I couldn't live with myself if i left him. I have a feeling he's developing depression and if i leave he may decide not to continue living. help or advice please.
The answer is in your question. You know he is having a hard time and you should be beside him, if you love him. When someone is in depression,they push people away. You have to be strong for him and yourself. So when he gets over these things he would find you by his side and his tough time.
Definitely just be there for him. It's tough to be forgiving but sometimes you have to put aside your own needs temporarily, and help him with his stuff. (as logn as it doesn;t go on too long, and he sees and apprecaited this, of course). Sounds like he is having anger or other issues. No one likes to be told they need therapy, but he sounds like he would benefit from talking to someone who isn't involved in the situation. Do you know his feelings about counseling?
He doesn't went to do counselling, he doesn't want to tell anyone of his family about any of this and whenever he goes out (which isn't very often at all) his mum asks where he's going. And then ofc why.
