It’s time I accepted myself again and allow myself to move on. For the past few months I was feeling survivor’s guilt over my partner. He passed and I hadn’t really dealt with it in the healthiest way. Thanks to all of the great people online at EC I can finally begin to heal and move on. I don’t mean that I’ll forget about Dan, but I won’t feel a twinge of guilt any time someone shows an interest in me. Not only that but for these past few months I felt very unattractive. I was afraid that I would never meet anyone ever again and that I should resign myself to widowhood. I can now see that I am blessed and have nothing to complain about. I have a good job. I’m pretty good looking. All-in-all I am a catch! It’s now time to throw that closet door back open again and start to become the person that I once was. The wounds are still there but I’m not going to let that stop me anymore. Maybe I’ll just make more friends or maybe I will fall in love, either way I’m ready for life to being again. Thank you to everyone who listened to my problems.
Kaiken, I didn't really help you, but you have certainly helped me and to help me while also dealing with such a very sad situation means that you are stronger than you realize, I looked at your profile pictures a couple of days back and I'm actually a very harsh judge in finding people attractive and I found you to be one of those attractive guys. So take that into account, you are found attractive by a guy who is harsh on attractiveness(me). I cannot understand your situation, but I do know that you are a great person who by virtue I would love to get to know. I think it is also good that you are moving on from this stage of your life. So I wish you luck Kaiken and never forget that you are a very helpful guy, you are also attractive, you are again a great person and so I bid you well in the rest of your journey into life.
Thank you very much Justinian20. You have been very helpful and I do count you as a friend. I'm not going anywhere because there's still a lot of support here at EC, but I thought it was time to shed the guilt. I appreciate that you found me attractive. I'm a little harsh on myself at times (please note that I wasn't fishing for compliments) but it never hurts to hear that someone finds you attractive. I like to paint myself out to be hard-hearted and cynical but that's my first line of defense when I'm feeling vulnerable.
I haven't been on EC for any great length of time over the last 24-36 hours, so I've only just got around to reading your posting. I'm pleased I didn't miss it. You have been through some tough times and you will undoubtedly have your moments of reflection as time goes on. It's strange when those moments occur too, but it's all part and parcel of the process and it's actually okay to allow those moments to come.. and go. It's also okay for you to live your life again without feeling guilty. In fact, it's a necessary and healthy step forward and I wish you all the luck in the world with it. You have far more to offer than you have to lose.
This is very true. I gain nothing by recoiling from life the way I have these past few months. Thank you Patrick.
