Okay, so I realize this is yet another post about sexuality. I apologize and promise the next post won't be like this! Its just something I have to get off my chest. Yesterday at my job waiting tables I met someone who used to work there. He goes to school in a different state, but comes back to visit his family during the holidays. and to pick up a few shifts where I work. So when I walked in I was rather surprised to see this new face. He was quite attractive! and then he opened his mouth to talk and he was soooooooooooooooo gay! Like the most stereotypical gay person you have ever met. Just all heeeeeeeeeeey!, hand motions, and talking in a very pronounced lisp. Except, he wasn't gay. Not even a little bit. It was a persona he put on to wait tables and supposedly he made a ton of money that way. This actually upset me quite a lot. Being gay already had its own troupes and stereotypes. Its one thing to be a stereotype if that's who you really are, but quite another if you are literally putting it on to make money. It just bothered me so much! and to make matters worse, we served in the same section meaning all day I heard him being so flamboyant and had to stand next to that as the actual gay one who doesn't act like that.... After about an hour of serving with him there was a moment when it was just us two alone for a moment. I asked him straight up if he was actually gay, and he said no. I later found out he had a reputation for having a ton of girlfriends. They trusted him more easily because they really thought he was gay. I don't really know why this whole event bothered me so much. I just felt like he personally was doing me a disservice!! By acting that way and spreading that kind of attitude, he really wasn't helping. When I voiced those concerns to another coworker a few hours later she told me thats just how he was, that he had always been that flamboyant. Except that he wasn't. I heard him on a few occasions just throughout that one day where he lost his lispy accent and talked normally for a few lines. For those religious folks out there, this is what the comparison would be like. Imagine you are religious. You are working with someone who is a stereotype of a religious zealot. Always telling you that you need to pray more, or read more holy text, that they are going to be saved. Saying words like Hallelujah and crossing themselves every chance they get. Now imagine that later on you ask them why they are so religious, and instead they tell you they are atheist. I'm sure your first thought is, wait, what? then why are you acting like such a zealot? That's the comparison. It just really bothered me how he acted to be one thing but was actually the exact opposite. In our culture, there is a phrase for that. Gay-for-pay. That's a stereotype that fit him perfectly.
Hey mate I agree that too many straight people do try and act like the stereotype of a gay man. I don't like it as well because it just is silly I mean why act that way when you're straight. I don't understand that straight people seem to think that acting that way is acceptance, it is not.
Never thought I would hear straight guy and acting gay in the same sentence or a topic about this ,but I don't see this as acting gay I see this as being a homophobic jackass is what it is .:tantrum: Talk about being a one trick pony that can't come up with better jokes that he has to make fun of gay men just fucking weak:dry:
I think It's fine to be a 'gay acting' straight guy if It's who you are, but putting on a show is different and sounds more like mocking.
That really upsets me a lot. As a gay guy who is fighting for his life just to survive in a Heteronormative world and would have to do anything to act "straight" is really disgusting. I mean I can understand that this is his way getting more tips but this is just really rude.
Damn, that hits a chord. I feel like that's just plain dishonesty, but hey whatever makes him happy. Maybe he has some unresolved stuff to work through, or maybe he just feels comfortable behaving in that manner. The best thing to do is to be polite and just ignore it.
I understand your frustrations. He just sounds like a bad person, plain and simple. Sure, we all put on a slightly different persona when needed, but to go that far? That takes balls. So either he is a jack ass, or he's so far in the closet that he found Narnia. Haha.
The guy is a jerk. He doesn't know the struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality. I suggest ignoring him.
I take it as a mockery of us. Putting on an act of exaggerating mannerisms or characteristics to entertain and make a profit is not something new in America, nor is it any more acceptable. Remember "black face," when white entertainers painted their faces black to mock other human beings, to exploit them for profit, and ultimately perpetuating stereotypes and prejudices. I see what's happening here as the same thing, just with a different target group. I would not be inappropriate to tell him how offensive his behaviour is. :tantrum:
I find this odd...if someone puts on a bubbly/flambouyant personality to get good tips, he's ripping off the gays; but if you call a dude with a bubbly/flambouyant personality "kinda gay", all of a sudden it's discrimintation. People put on hats all the time. besides, this isn't cultural appropriation....it's just a dude putting on a flaming persona to get good tips. I also know straight dudes who know they are hot and work in gay bars because they get better tips. This guy plays to people's stupidity: he knows women are less defensive around gay men, therefore he plays up stereotypical qualities of gay guys, people make their assumptions and he gets more tips (and probs poon). Good for him. Plus isn't this straight guy breaking stereotypes?
I have a friend like that. When we first met I was 100% convinced he was gay and ended up making a fool of myself for making a move on him. Like they say ... It takes all sorts to make up this world we live in.