When I came out to my dad I did it in a letter. He said "Oh I don't care about all that," nonchalantly so I took it as him accepting my sexuality. However, lately if I bring it up, he gets uncomfortable. He asks me why I can't just date a really girly man. I usually reply with, "Well why can't you?" and he'll just brush it off. He also wont let me tell my grandma and he was upset when I got a key chain that says "Legalize" in rainbow colors. Now tonight, I talked about wanting to cut my hair short. He said he doesn't like short hair on women and begged me not to cut it because he'd have to "look at me all the time" with it. I know my dad loves me, he buys me food, he gives me shelter, we even watch shows like True Blood and Weeds together, but it's like he doesn't want to admit that his daughter is a lesbian. He also keeps suggesting that I get together with my best friend Kyle, when he knows I don't see him that way. Does anyone have any advice? I mean I feel so tense and guilty and sad at the same time like I'm going to explode.
You didn't say when you gave your Dad the letter, but if it was quite recent he may still be processing his own feelings about your sexuality. It's a lot for a parent to take in and accept. Have a look at this: Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief In time, your Dad may come to a point of acceptance and understanding, but it will be frustrating for you to wait while he gets there. Just try to remember how long it took for you to come to terms with your sexuality though. It doesn't usually happen overnight. Dig deep and remain calm. If you get angry or upset with your Dad, you may give him the impression that you are unhappy being gay and that will actually make things worse. If you need to vent, come back here and share it with us.
I gave him the letter about two years ago. I think he's the type that'll have gay friends (he does) but flip out when it's on if his kids.
