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Feeling sad and alone

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by PositivelyMe, Dec 4, 2014.

  1. PositivelyMe

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    Coming out to my mom didn't go as well as I had hoped it was and I'm feeling very down right now. Basically, she told me I needed to hang out with straight people and see a therapist because she wants grandkids and obviously that can't happen if I'm with a girl.

    I wish I was straight so I didn't have to deal with this shit.
     
  2. thekillingmoon

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    She's wrong for saying that to you. Some parents just can't accept it, it's not your fault. Straight is more convenient, but not necessarily a happier existence.
     
  3. lilstar04

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    It's really hard to come out to people not our age (parents etc). In general they can be a bit old fashion and unable to accept anything except the typical straight orientation. They believe we can be fixed with therapy. : ( We are not something to be fixed. We are how we are. we just need to accept it. But not easy when people aren't nice and opening to embrace us. What they don't understand is we didn't chose to be not straight. Obviously it much harder to be ...... If you mom want grand kids what's wrong with the idea of adopting babies? If we live life as our family wants we aren't really living because we are suffering because we can't be the real the us. Unconditional love is what can help others embrace any sexual orientation. Fear stops us from being free from a label. Love of all people = happiness. Don't be sad. you are not alone. There are many of us that have been or currently feeling as you do because of what others think of them .Be happy and don't be afraid to be yourself.
     
  4. Fallingdown7

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    She could still have grandkids with a gay child (adoption or sperm donation) and she could get NO grandkids with a straight child if they're the type that doesn't want them. My sister is straight and she hates kids. She's not giving my Mom any grandkids either.

    Anyway sorry that you have to deal with this -hugs-
     
  5. Spartan 117

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    I'm really sorry you're going through this. (*hug*) If coming out was always a happy experience, websites like this wouldn't exist!

    I will say, give it time. Unfortunately, some parent's first instinct is to freak out, they need time to process. In time, your mom may come around and accept what you're telling her. Or she won't... but by that time you will be more independent and able to live your own life.

    The most important thing to remember is that you're not alone. :slight_smile: There are other people going through exactly what you're going through right now. Everyone here knows how you feel. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but you will be okay.
     
  6. Damien

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    If I may, I will turn that around: I wish your mom was more accepting, so you could feel more at ease with just being yourself, and not feel as though you need to live your life according to someone elses wishes rather than your own. It's your life. If you want to have kids etc, have them, if not, don't. But don't sacrifice your own dreams, for someone elses.
     
    #6 Damien, Dec 4, 2014
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2014
  7. I'm so sorry, but you know she doesn't get to decide who you are and what you do with the rest of your life. You're a very kind and caring person who your mother should be proud to have (which I'm sure she is... Deep down) no worries, it'll all turn up okay :wink: sending you lots of giant bear hugs
     
  8. PositivelyMe

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    Thanks guys, it really means a lot. It's going to be a rough few days but at least I know I have the people here and my supportive friends around me.
     
  9. black-cat

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    Oh darling. I'm so sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to hear that from your mum.

    You're not alone, unfortunately many people here have been in a similar situation, and everyone can give you support, *HUGS*. I really hope things improve soon.
     
  10. PositivelyMe

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    Thank you guys, it matters a lot
     
  11. Emmanuella

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    I'm sorry to hear that your mom had such a horrible/selfish reaction to you coming out. Hopefully she will come around, and realize that it's not all about her...
     
  12. Sorry to hear about your mother. It can be hard coming out and getting a reaction like that. She can still have children from you, but from different methods. She may have taken it hard soon after hearing it from you, and I hope your mother comes around to accept you for who you are. Please try to stay strong and don't let anything negative get you down. I hope for the best that everything will go alright.